My Body Was Your Nest and It Will Still Be Here For You When You Want It
My body was your nest, your shelter, your temporary home for nine months. After that, my skin was your warmth, your shelter and your comfort, the way I could tell you that you would always have me with you.
And so it will be, my child, whenever you want it, until you run faster than I, until the day you no longer need my hand to walk by your side.
Surely there is more than one mom or dad reading this who misses the days when their baby needed so much closeness: those months when our child nestled in our lap with his whispering breath, his teary sobs, his tiny hand gripping one of our fingers…
Those days pass soon, we know, almost like a sigh, like a breeze that comes and goes, leaving us with only a memory. However, our body, our closeness, is still necessary and essential to our child until well after 3 years, at which time the experts tell us that external gestation or extra-uterine development ends and strategies for things as simple as carrying are essential.
At You Are Mom, we want to talk about the need to maintain your physical refuge beyond pregnancy, to make our lap and our skin a layer of protection where our child feels safe to grow, in a happy way.
My Body Is Your Home, Until You Tell Me
Children are wise and know what their basic needs are. Our obligation is therefore to understand and manage them properly. It does not matter that our little one is 3 or 4 years old and asks to be held; that moment of pampering, sometimes lasting no more than 5 minutes, offers comfort and makes the little one feel loved and refreshed, allowing them to return to their games with full intensity.
We are aware that sometimes it costs us, that each time they weigh a little more, that sometimes we have to set aside our tasks to carry them in our arms while they talk to us, while they seek our companionship just as we are in a hurry or have more tasks to fulfill.
But remember, those days of wanting to be in your arms are over very quickly, so why not take advantage of them?
Tie Him to Your Body, Take Him Everywhere in Those Early Years of Life
Babies are born with a very poorly developed brain. Its neural connections represent barely 25 percent of what can be achieved in adulthood.
However, there is one thing that we should not neglect: during the first 3-4 years of life, the brain is at its maximum potential, making almost 1,000 trillion neural connections.
We must take advantage of that stage, and therefore there’s nothing better than carrying your baby as much as possible, and as much as is reasonable.
For example, if you are a working mother and have no choice but to be separated from your baby for a few hours, do not hesitate to do the following:
- When you get home after work, take your baby in your arms and wrap him against you.
- Take your baby with you everywhere, giving free access to your breasts.
- Without realizing it, your little one will not suffer as much anxiety when you do have to go to work. He will be able to wait, and instantly when you lay him against your body, you will continue to promote that external gestation.
My Body Was Your Nest, and It Will Always Be That Lap Where You Can Return When You Need It
Once our little ones are 6 or 7 years old, their lives are filled with more protagonists. They’ll have their peers, those schoolmates with whom they share games and new experiences. The world becomes broader before their eyes, and somehow it seems that we are not so essential.
However, you never have such thoughts, because a mother or father is always essential for a child. You are your child’s roots, the person who will always guide them from the heart, who always speaks to them with a sincere and close language, who always wants the best and who seeks at every moment to give them the best… a piece of heaven or a star if need be.
So, do not fear if from the very beginning you have allowed your closeness to always be home, for your body to be that small nest to take a nap in, calm fears or wipe away tears.
Because when your child is 10, 12 or even 20 years old, they’ll thank you for a moment and give you a strong hug… just for reminding them that “everything will be all right,” “they are special,” “there is no problem without a solution,” and “they will always be loved”…
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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- Bowlby, J. (1995). Teoría del apego. Lebovici, Weil-HalpernF.
- Garrido-Rojas, L. (2006). Apego, emoción y regulación emocional. Implicaciones para la salud. Revista latinoamericana de psicología, 38(3), 493-507. https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/805/80538304.pdf
- Marrone, M., Diamond, N., Juri, L., & Bleichmar, H. (2001). La teoría del apego: un enfoque actual. Madrid: Psimática.
- Moneta, M. (2003). El Apego. Aspectos clínicos y psicobiológicos de la díada madre-hijo. Santiago: Cuatro Vientos