Tips For Long Distance Fathers

Tips For Long Distance Fathers
María Alejandra Castro Arbeláez

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist María Alejandra Castro Arbeláez.

Written by Gladys González

Last update: 27 December, 2022

Often, a father’s absence is mistaken for rejection by the children in the house, and that is why it is important to learn how to be a good long distance father.

When their dad is not home everyday, whether it be because of work or personal issues with their mom, it is possible for a child to feel abandoned. When faced with these situations, they usually aren’t able to understand that this reality is not their fault, and that it is not a voluntary choice made by the parents.

As a result, your child could start to shut themselves away in their own world as a way to escape their surrounding environment; of course, this will affect their involvement with friends, school, and other family members that they are in touch with. With this in mind, it is essential that the family participate in activities that reaffirm the father’s presence.

Despite the distance, your child should learn to respect your role as their father.

This way, the distance does not seem as great between the child and their father figure who is so important for their development. It is not a matter of buying them tons of presents to fill the void of your absence, or giving them everything they want.

Instead, try to play a determining role in their everyday life, even if you can’t be together all the time.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

-Theophrastus-

In other words, the challenge goes beyond letting them know that you are still there for them. You should instill in them the respect you deserve, obedience, and more than anything, love. Maybe the thought of attempting to do this makes you nervous, which is why we want to give you some advice on being a good long distance father:

Long Distance Fatherhood: Useful Tips for Success

Father holding son

Surely you feel sadness for the fact that you aren’t able to share as many moments with your little one as you may want to. However, we want to give you the strength to move forward with this list of tips that will make you change your mind and help you take on this challenge with a renewed attitude:

Make sure your child feels your presence every day, especially for the most important moments:

This includes sad moments, successes, crises, happy times, and events that the child would want to share with their dad, such as graduations, birthday parties, tournaments, and festivals, among others. If you aren’t going to be able to be there, tell them the truth and explain the reasons why.

Don’t make promises that you won’t be able to keep:

Avoid getting their hopes up just to break their heart later. Be upfront and listen to what your child needs with love.

Learn about your child’s interests:

It doesn’t matter if it is a passing interest, your child is still passionate about the things that they like doing. Get involved and give them space to talk with you about it.

Don’t manipulate them:

Some fathers want to fix their mistakes with toys or candy. The bad news is that this does not give children a good example, and they will start to believe that that is the best way to solve life’s problems.

 Stay in touch:

Technology has become a long distance father’s best friend. Fortunately, the younger generations can depend on these communication windows in order to stay close to their loved ones who are not able to be there for whatever reason.

Introduce yourself as a proud father:

Get to know their teachers, classmates, girlfriend or boyfriend and any other person who has an impact on their everyday life.

Establish clear boundaries:

As we mentioned before, you should teach your child to respect you despite the distance. You are always going to be their dad, and so you have to firmly guide them. You will see that this will end up being a big help in their teen years.

Long distance fatherhood is achieved through strength and confidence. The bond that you are forming with your child will continue to flourish with the passing of time. The only guarantee that you’ll be able to establish a strong connection with your  little one is in your hands: consistency.

How Does Having A Long Distance Father Affect Children?

father sleeping with newborn

According to experts, having a good outcome in this situation depends on the maturity of the mother and father. The ability to build strong ties and effective channels of communication will make a good impression on your child.

Both the mother and father have to approach this situation in a mature way in order to avoid it affecting their child.

An absent father who is not interested in bridging the gaps that separate him from his family could contribute to feelings of loneliness and vulnerability. So, it is never too late to show your little angel how much you love them, and that without them your life wouldn’t be the same.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.