Don't Neglect a Crying Baby, Find Out Why They Cry
There are people who still believe it’s good to leave a baby to cry every now and then. They believe this prevents the baby from becoming “spoilt.” However, realistically it doesn’t work like that.
Babies need care and loving from their parents to feel safe and secure on a physical and emotional level. A baby spends 9 months in their mother’s wombs before coming into the world. They need constant protection in order to develop properly both physically and emotionally.
The task of motherhood can be exhausting. However, when you realize that your baby needs your constant attention, you’ll realize that it is also wonderful. Letting a baby cry in order to teach them “to learn to calm down” will only make them feel abandoned.
Although they will eventually stop crying after not being attended to, this will be because they now feel they cannot trust their primary caretakers.
A baby (or a small child) cannot calm themselves down. Babies still haven’t developed the capacity to regulate their most intense emotions. They need constant physical contact from their parents.
Babies need to feel the heat and love of their protectores in order to calm down and know that everything is okay; to know that they are well protected, safe and that they can trust the person who gave them life.
What happens when a baby cries
Babies cry when they are hungry, tired, irritated, or when something hurts and when they need love from their parents… When they cry, it is always for a reason.
They don’t cry because they are “spoilt” – they cry because they have a certain need that we need to attend to. They have no other way to communicate with you. Crying is the their only means of communication.
When a mother worries and figures out the reason their baby is crying, then the baby can calm down because their needs have been met. Moreover they understand that they can trust in you. Motherhood is fragile, sensitive, and babies’ basic needs must be taken care of from the moment they are born.
The silence of unattended babies
There is a heartbreaking story that pulls on the heart strings of anyone with empathy. This story will make you think again about the needs of babies. The story is about a missionary that visits an orphanage in Uganda. He entered a room in which there were 100 baby cribs with babies in them.
However, there was something that seemed strange to him. Not one baby cried. The room with more than 100 cribs was completely silent. How could this be possible?
The missionary didn’t understand the root of this strange silence. He was approached by a worker at the orphanage who told him that the babies had been there for a week.
After crying day and night, they realized that no one would come to their aid. They realized that they would no be attended to. They felt abandoned. No one would take care of them… They were alone.
This lack of attention and abandonment that babies feel leave permanent prints on their identity. They stop being babies and somehow they realize they should stop crying because they cannot trust anybody. This is horrible for emotional development and because of this, no adult should ever let a baby cry. They should always be attended to.
When your baby cries
When your baby cries do not become irritated. Crying is their only means of communicating with you at whatever hour of the day. There will come moments when you will be exhausted and lacking energy.
However, your baby needs your unconditional love and attention. It is something primordial for their development in order to keep their emotional bonds with you. Your baby should always know that you’re at their side, that they’re not alone. Abandonment should not exist for them.
Babies need their parents to always take care of them and give them unconditional love. Let them know that you are always by their side.
They need their parents to make them a promise that they will not be left alone; that they will not be left to cry but rather they will be understood and that their parents will realize crying is their only form of communication.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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- Long, T., & Johnson, M. (2001). Living and coping with excessive infantile crying. Journal of advanced nursing, 34(2), 155-162. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.2001.01740.x
- Jones, S. (1992). Crying baby, sleepless nights. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
- Illingworth, R. S. (1955). Crying in infants and children. British medical journal, 1(4905), 75. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2060770/
- Hiscock, H., & Jordan, B. (2004). 1. Problem crying in infancy. Medical journal of Australia, 181(9), 507-512. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.5694/j.1326-5377.2004.tb06414.x