
It’s perfectly normal to have a lot of questions about breastfeeding if it’s time for you to go back to…
The first 40 days after childbirth are meant for a few specific things: it is a time to nest, to be in magical intimacy, to love with delicacy, to get to know your little one, to welcome him to the world and to love him skin-on-skin.
The world pauses. Everything stops and starts at the same time, because few moments are more magical than those in which we finally welcome our children after having carried them for 9 months inside us.
One of the most interesting books about the puerperium is “Safe Postpartum” by Beatrijs Smulders. This author, a professional midwife, immerses us completely in the common tasks, scenarios and situations that mothers and fathers experience during this time, which of course extends well beyond the classic 40 days.
As we have previously pointed out on this site, the puerperium can last as long as a year. This book guides us in a realistic way through all of those experiences, which form a true kaleidoscope of fears, emotions, physical exhaustion, challenges, problems and happiness.
Something very clear is that many mothers are almost forced to emerge from a purely physical and emotional universe such as childbirth in order to compulsively dive into the concrete reality that is work, money, schedules and daily routines, while the baby’s intimate and whispering life is there.
How do we balance everything? How can we be in tune with every need and every obligation? It is certainly a complex and exciting journey.
Whether we believe it or not, those first 40 days after childbirth matter, and matter a lot. It is the grand welcoming, the adaptation and discovery of us as mothers and our partners as parents.
The first 40 days after childbirth are yours. It is the territory of Mom and Dad, and together with the baby, you all create a unique sphere, magical and bordered by intense emotions that belong only to the three of you.
It is okay if you do not receive visits for a few days and if you leave aside your goals and work obligations. There is someone more important, someone who requires your attention, caresses, food and love… the baby.
Nesting concretely means making a nest to live in. There is nothing wrong with using the terms of the animal kingdom, because in the end, the behaviors and ends are the same: raising children and giving them protection, warmth, love and, of course, food.
In those first 40 days there are many challenges to deal with: adaptation, breastfeeding, nighttime rest, the umbilical cord, the pacifier, the crib, colic and especially crying.
Our maternal instinct, that newly released sense, is a real super power that completely tunes us in with the baby. Those 40 days after childbirth will be difficult at some point, of course, but with the right perspective they will rise as one of the most important stages in your life.
What we need first of all is to create a circle of intimacy and simply nest as a family. The world, with its rush, pressures, work, friends and visits can wait a little while, because this time belongs to us.