Spending Time with Other Moms Isn't Just Fun, It's Necessary!
Being a mom is no easy job. Sometimes, getting out, having a cup of coffee and spending time with other moms is so important. Today we want to go into detail about why.
And it’s not just about caring for your own well-being. It’s also about caring for your children, your home, and your responsibilities at work.
“Mothers voluntarily forget that the umbilical cord is cut at the time of birth”
– Vera Caspar–
Even in the best of circumstances, mothers face problems and challenges every single day. Stress is a natural reaction to the physical, emotional and environmental pressures we experience on a daily basis.
When a mom’s stress level gets out of control, it affects everyone around her – especially young children. Studies have shown that even fetuses are affected by the stress their mother experiences.
Stress in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. Experts on the subject claim that an optimal level of stress energizes us, and it’s therefore important.
Of course, the amount of stress that each individual can tolerate varies from one person to the next. The problem occurs when stress becomes too high, and thus harmful.
It’s a general rule: Mothers get the feeling that there aren’t enough hours in the day. We often feel like we’re constantly running late, and it’s hard to balance all of our responsibilities.
This is especially true for working moms. There’s even a name for this phenomenon: It’s called burnout syndrome.
Educating and raising our children from birth until they become independent adults is a major responsibility. But what we often fail to realize is that most of the dilemmas we face as mothers are common.
In other words, most mothers, at some time or another, share the same fears and frustrations. For example:
- A sense of exhaustion, with an inability to identify or express the emotions that come with it
- Difficulty connecting with our child’s character
- The sense that motherhood doesn’t match up with the life we dreamed of living
- Disconnect with our partners
- Specific conflicts that have to do with each developmental stage of our children
- The shattering image of “the perfect mother”
- Feelings of guilt that come with each one of our decisions
- Fear of failure
Therefore, it’s important to spread awareness by creating adequate spaces that are based on respect and support. These spaces give us the opportunity to share our life stories and common experiences.
In doing so, we feel a sense of relief in knowing we’re not alone – that someone understands what it’s like. We also gain new techniques for taking on different challenges, and solutions for daily conflicts.
These mommy support groups are based on discussion and exchange, while also recognizing that each experience is unique and individual.
What is a mommy support group?
Mommy support groups go by many names: Mommy Meetups, Milk Moms, Baby & Me, MOPS , etc.
Mothers often reach out to these groups when they’re still expecting, or soon after the arrival of their babies.
Participants can get together and nurse their babies as they talk about the joys and difficulties of newborn life. These relationships are often long-lasting and meaningful both for the mothers and for the children they raise together.
Where do these mothers meet up? It’s important that the gatherings not take place in a clinical setting. Rather, the setting should be informal, warm, peaceful and inviting.
Of course, mothers need to have the freedom and comfort to nurse as needed. If older children are in attendance, the meeting spot should also tend to their needs and safety.
Ideally, participation in these groups should be free of charge. Mothers from all economic circumstances have a need to connect with other mothers.
Furthermore, a change in your finances shouldn’t mean the loss of your support group.
Unfortunately, these groups aren’t always easy to find, especially in smaller cities. Just the same, you can get together with mothers you already know who share your vision on motherhood.
Spending time with other moms and sharing common experiences will surely deepen the relationship you already have.
Likewise, spending time with a friend who doesn’t have children is also beneficial. As mothers, sometimes we need a breath of fresh air, a distraction, and a change in conversation.
Whether we like it or not, being a mother takes up a lot of our time. Suddenly, our world is focused on this one little being, and we put aside a lot of former priorities.
It’s very common for motherhood to distance us from our friends who don’t have children.
That doesn’t necessarily mean we no longer have anything in common. We can have a million other things to talk about.
However, the lifestyle change that being a mother requires can often affect our relationships. When we have children, our priorities change – rightly so – and our children need to come first.
However, we should still make time for our friends. Spending time around other women – whether they have children or not – is a healthy and much needed practice.