You Are My Present, My Future And The Best Part Of My Past
The arrival of a child reboots our lives. They are our present, they give us hope and joy, they are the best thing that ever happened to us. We also dream constantly about how our future with them will be.
Sociologists and psychologists often remind us of a problem that plagues today’s society. The problem is our inability to be present – failure to take advantage of the here and now.
We are complex and can obsess about the past until the point of falling into depression.
We can also focus too much on the future that hasn’t even happened yet. This forces us to remain entangled and trapped in an insufferable bundle of anxiety.
It is not easy to live in the here and now, especially when everything that surrounds us is so highly demanding, forcing us to make concrete goals for tomorrow. Our surroundings also remind us of our past mistakes.
Happiness lies in the here and now. This is something that most mothers discover the moment they give birth. Fathers also discover this when they hold their little one in their hands.
Suddenly something changes. It’s like a music box that, when opened, invites us to stop and contemplate its beauty. The beauty of that perfect child is what binds us to the present…
My past is important but it does not define me. My child, on the other hand, defines my essence, my authenticity as a human being.
Mistakes are etched in our past. They remind us of the wrong paths we took and the wonderful findings we made. People are made of stories, small drops of nostalgia and on occasion, high doses of regret.
None of the past should be of importance when our first child arrives. When the birth finally happens, it lightens the weight of any mistakes we made yesterday, any painful relationships that ended badly and those wrong paths we took.
A child is a clean slate, a new account that erases the pains of our pasts. They are the force that drives happiness and impulses us towards a better future.
Do not let the burdens of yesterday determine your present. Sometimes, lineage, or wounds of the past associated with a difficult childhood or parental detachment scare many parents and many new mothers.
- We must “heal” ourselves in order to be good parents. It is a process that requires time and delicate craftsmanship, however, it is important to carry it out.
- Remember that bad fathers and bad mothers are those who project their own frustrations on their children. Those who are unable to heal their wounds from yesterday.
We should therefore try to avoid these kinds of dynamics.
My child fills my present with projects and makes it much more beautiful
We know that giving birth to and raising children isn’t easy. The present becomes more complex and intense than ever when you have to find out what your newborn is crying about.
You may even feel exhausted till the point that infinite hours of sleep would not refresh you. However, even with all of this, you still have the strength to breastfeed, bathe them, take them to the doctor and make them laugh…
The present is hard sometimes, but its seeds are beautiful, because it makes you feel wonderful and sometimes even magical. It is a kaleidoscope of opposing sensations that sometimes surprise you.
You tell yourself that you will not be able to do everything, however you manage to accomplish everything and even more. This leaves you feeling incredibly proud.
Motherhood and fatherhood are adventures that no one believes they’re prepared for. However, every day is a new one and every moment can reflect in a happy child. In that little one that grows in health, strength, joy, mischief and beauty.
Without fear of the future, I am a lot stronger
Afraid of tomorrow? Not at all. Tomorrow is now dressed in dreams; it wears the color of hope and runs with courage.
You are a much stronger person, you have discovered that with the arrival of your child, there are no longer fears or uncertainties that reside inside you.
In your mind there are only certainties, the certainty that you want to give the best to your child. The security that you will deal with each day as a person who is fighting for their goals to offer the best for their family.
The future no longer scares you because you live life with intensity in the present. Because you knit day by day and moment by moment in a calm and secure universe where you can enjoy time with your child.
Fear does not lurk in the corners when there is light, energy and vitality. In your life there are no dark abysses, now you are your own engine of hope and your child’s daily motivation.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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- Bowlby, J. (1995). Teoría del apego. Lebovici, Weil-HalpernF.
- Garrido-Rojas, L. (2006). Apego, emoción y regulación emocional. Implicaciones para la salud. Revista latinoamericana de psicología, 38(3), 493-507. https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/805/80538304.pdf
- Marrone, M., Diamond, N., Juri, L., & Bleichmar, H. (2001). La teoría del apego: un enfoque actual. Madrid: Psimática.
- Moneta, M. (2003). El Apego. Aspectos clínicos y psicobiológicos de la díada madre-hijo. Santiago: Cuatro Vientos.
