I've Loved You Since Your First Heartbeat

I love you, have loved you and will always love you. I’ve loved you since your first heartbeat told me of your existence. From that moment I knew that you would be my favorite person in the whole word, my hero in this messy world. I didn’t quite appreciate that I would never again be alone.

At some point in her life, every woman dreams, or at least fantasizes, about becoming a mother. It’s the only “degree” where first they give you the diploma, and then you study the subject in your own university at home.

Almost all of us have dreamed of that moment when a piece of our being abandons its belly-cradle to let us take it in our arms. But more than that, you want with all your might and yearn with all your heart to feel the unmistakable signs of the magic of a child inside you.

When you finally hear the beats of its little heart in the first ultrasounds, an inexplicable emotion overtakes you. There is life inside you. Over time, a pair of little legs and a pair of arms begin to shake, reminding you that happiness can take many forms. On this occasion, joy is a child.

I’ve loved you since your first heartbeat

The love that can be felt after battling through birth is impressive and unimaginable. The devotion you begin to experience as soon as you observe and embrace your baby for the first time is as inexplicable as it is unmatched. It truly equates to touching the sky with your hands.

However, I can say with total conviction that I have loved you since I have felt that perfect synchronization in the womb, the harmonious music of our hearts playing to the beat of the future. You knew me like no one else. You felt me. I learned to interpret what you did in my belly during those nine months.

I remember your first movements. At first they generated butterflies in my stomach, full of love and emotion. Then the hands came, and the elbows. You painted the most beautiful smiles on my face. I had some anxiety too. I had already dreamed of having you in my arms, like heaven.

And finally that long-awaited miracle happened. Our first big date, blind. This one had no margin of error and could not fail. I knew I would meet the true love of my life. It’s a love different from the others: deep, pure, unconditional, and above all, infinite and eternal.

My heart exploded with happiness. And although I felt proud from the moment that positive test showed me your presence, I never felt so happy and fortunate as when you first said “mama” with a voice barely coherent, but so sweet and tender.

The word changed definitions upon being uttered by your mouth. It took on another meaning, another dimension. I believed myself blessed by all the angels. However, I must admit that maternity, from the first moment, meant walking a beautiful path of sensations, feelings and dreams.

I’ve loved you since before I could even touch your face

I’ve loved you for a long time. Longer than you can imagine. Even before I could picture a face in my mind. Before I knew whether I was waiting for the prince or princess of my palace. My body, along with our sweet home, changed and adapted for your arrival.

Inside my belly was my confidant and best friend, the one who can undoubtedly confirm that he knows me like no one else. I talked to you, caressed you and sang to you each day and night. I knew you felt me, and that truth shook me when I held you and felt our unique and special connection.

Of course, not everything was perfect during that idyllic great wait. Sometimes I felt afraid and fear invaded me. So many doubts or feelings of restlessness. Sometimes the world seemed to fall apart. There were symptoms … I had to face the difficulty to achieve glory.

I fought cravings, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, sleeplessness, digestive discomfort and back pain. This is the price I chose to pay for love. I struggled to finance the beautiful life that we have left to live. And it was worth it. I knew that when I first kissed that nose and when you first looked at me.

That day when you came into my life, bursting into each of my days from then on, I realized that I would never be alone again. I then committed myself to taking care of you and protecting you with my life. I swore that nothing would happen to you and you would want for nothing.

I promised to teach you to see the world through the eyes of the heart. And although I can’t stop you from falling, I promise to stay close to reach out and help you stand. I offered you my love and respect, so that you can practice it whenever you wish. I love you and that’s why I wove wings for you, so you can fly high when you please.