7 Mistakes Not to Make With Your Second Child

Do you know what mistakes you shouldn't make with your second child? Here, we'll tell you so you can avoid them. Keep reading!
7 Mistakes Not to Make With Your Second Child

Last update: 01 February, 2022

Being a parent for the first time can lead to mistakes, due to inexperience with a newborn. In the same way, overconfidence with your second child can lead to mistakes that you shouldn’t make.

When you already have a child and you’re a parent for the second time, you may believe that the road is paved and that you won’t make the same mistakes as the first time around. While it’s true that you already have some experience, you must keep in mind that not all children are the same. This means that there will be new roads to travel, which won’t be free of stumbling blocks.

Here, we’re going to tell you about the most frequent mistakes that parents make with their second child. Keep reading!

The mistakes you should avoid with your second child

Lack of confidence can lead you to make mistakes, but so can too much confidence. Do you want to know some examples? Take note.

1. Believing that everything will be easier

Don’t let this discourage you, but be careful with this false security.

Having a second child can lead us to believe that we have everything under control and that it won’t be a challenge to manage two children. But don’t forget that when we have more than one child, the tasks multiply, but our time doesn’t.

Once your family gets bigger, you’ll have to take care of two little ones with different needs, and this will increase your stress level.

Surely, in the end, you’ll be able to handle everything, but it’s a mistake if you think that it’ll be easier.

A mother trying to work at home while her children are trying to get her attention.

2. Thinking that your second child will be the same as your first

You may think that your new baby will be the same as their older brother or sister and that everyone else is wrong when they say that “every child is different”. But, surprise! One day, you’ll realize that your second child does something that your first child didn’t do. How can this be possible? Well, each child has their own personality and is different from the rest.

3. Not devoting some of your time to your older child

When a second baby comes into your life, caring for them takes up so much of your time and energy that you may come to neglect everything else. And for a moment, you may lose sight of the fact that your oldest child needs your attention, too.

Just as you did before the birth of your second baby, we need to make time for our firstborn. Take some exclusive time to be with them: Play alone, read stories, or go for a walk together. You can also involve them in the care of their little brother or sister, but without burdening them with responsibilities.

4. Making comparisons and assigning labels

You mustn’t forget that each child is different and that no one’s better or worse, smarter or less smart. They’re just different.

Each child has their own needs and learning rhythms, so we shouldn’t compare or label them in a positive or negative way. Labels are very harmful, as children end up believing the labels they’re assigned and behave as others expect them to.

5. Believing that your firstborn is older than they really are

This is one of the most frequent mistakes we can make with a second child.

With the birth of a new baby, it seems that your first child has suddenly grown up. But we mustn’t forget that they’re still the same child as before.

We shouldn’t make the mistake of asking them not to cry “because they’re older” or criticize behaviors that are normal for their age.

6. Taking out the objects you didn’t use with your first child because you think you’ll use them now

When we become first-time parents, we accumulate a lot of baby junk, which in the end, we never use. But, if you didn’t use those things with your first child, you probably won’t use them with your second child either. You’ll save space at home if you donate or sell them.

7. Believing that you won’t be able to love your second child the way they deserve

When you already have a child that we love madly and you find out that another one’s on the way, you may think that you’ll never be able to love them as much as your firstborn.

But this doubt is dispelled the moment you see their little face for the first time and you realize that your love is multiplied. There’s a lot of love in you to give to all your children.

A mother playing with her two kids at the park.

Conclusions regarding the mistakes you shouldn’t make with your second child

These are some of the mistakes you should avoid making with your second child and they’re also the most frequent among parents today.

The most important thing is to be clear that each child is different and that none of what you’ve gone through with your first child is guaranteed to happen with your second one. Neither the good nor the bad.

This new adventure that awaits you is going to be unforgettable. Be patient, organize your time, and enjoy your children!

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Sicurezza, N. (2011). Segunda maternidad y sus singularidades. In III Congreso Internacional de Investigación y Práctica Profesional en Psicología XVIII Jornadas de Investigación Séptimo Encuentro de Investigadores en Psicología del MERCOSUR. Facultad de Psicología-Universidad de Buenos Aires.
  • Escobari Cardozo, Martha Virginia. (2017). El lugar que ocupan los hijos en la familia y el liderazgo. Revista de Investigación Psicológica, (17), 51-82. Recuperado en 10 de enero de 2022, de http://www.scielo.org.bo/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S2223-30322017000100005&lng=es&tlng=es.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.