Parental Arguments: Expecting Your First Child

When parents are expecting their first child, they usually have arguments about different things. Today, we'll talk about the most common arguments that parents have, and how to solve these situations.
Parental Arguments: Expecting Your First Child
Mara Amor López

Written and verified by the psychologist Mara Amor López.

Last update: 27 December, 2022

It’s very common for parents to have different arguments when they’re expecting their first child. When a baby is coming, parents must reorganize their lives and relationship, based on individual and group needs. In fact, this won’t only affect the couple, it’ll also affect their relationships with other people, such as family members and friends.

In today’s article, we’ll see some of the most common arguments that first-time parents have when they’re expecting a baby. So, if you want to know more about this, continue reading.

Common arguments that parents have when they’re expecting their first child

The following are the most common topics that cause arguments between first-time parents:

  • Differences regarding the way they want to raise and look after the baby.
  • Different points of view from their own families. 
  • Time for oneself and for the couple. 
  • Being able to fulfill all the responsibilities after the baby is born.

These are some of the areas that might be affected by the new baby’s arrival. However, we can also talk about the differences parents have once the baby is actually born.

What do parents argue about when they’re about to have their first child?

Couple fighting.

Conflicts when distributing chores

When distributing chores, there’s no need to do it in an even way. The important thing here is to do what you say you’re going to do. Each one of you must fulfill your own responsibilities.

Sometimes, one of you will have to take care of more things than the other. Try to be flexible and understanding. As a result, you’ll develop empathy and avoid fighting.

Choosing the name

This is one of the first problems that may arise. Sometimes, you both want different names. In this case, the solution isn’t to let one of you win. Instead, you should find a name you both like. And, don’t listen to your family, friends, or other people you know. What you have to do is choose a name that you both love.

Find time for yourself and to spend together

Having a child shouldn’t mean that you can’t have time for yourself or time to spend as a couple. Therefore, you need to find time for yourself and your partner should be tolerant about it. This is why it’s very important to respect each other’s space.

Differences regarding upbringing and education

Since you were both raised in different homes, you might disagree regarding upbringing methods and education. In order to avoid arguments about this, you should find a method you both agree with. 

Conflicts between couples.

Relationship with both sides of the family

Another common argument couples have is related to the influence of both families. This is very common when they try to educate your children. What you need to do is talk to them and ask them to respect your own way of raising your children. Of course, you should thank them for their interest and support.

Remember to be clear about limits from the first day. You should both agree on the things you’re willing to tolerate, so you won’t have problems in the future.

Choosing a nursery school or a person to look after your child

In this case, it’s only about looking for your child’s best interests. You might have to analyze all your choices: leaving them with their grandparents or another family member, hiring a babysitter, or taking them to a nursery school.

If you’ve got a lot of doubts about this, just sit down and analyze all the advantages and disadvantages from all of your choices, and then choose what’s best for your children.

About arguments parents usually have when they’re expecting their first child

Arguments between first-time parents are more common than you think. It’s clear that if you don’t work together as a team, you may end up fighting all the time. So, be honest and talk about everything that concerns you. This way, you’ll be able to come to an agreement and feel comfortable about it.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.