7 Ways to Develop Tolerance Towards Frustration

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist María Alejandra Castro Arbeláez.

Written by Marisol Rendón Manrique

Last update: 27 December, 2022

Things in life don’t always work out as we want them to. That’s why it’s important to know how to develop tolerance towards frustration and react positively to difficult situations. Teach this to your children and you’ll save them from a lot of trouble in the future.

The ability to endure unpleasant feelings or stressful situations isn’t easy to forge. People who haven’t developed tolerance towards frustration tend to try to solve all of their conflicts immediately.

In other words, they try to resolve overwhelming situations easily and quickly. If they don’t find a solution, they feel a deep sense of uneasiness and anxiety.

When there is no tolerance towards frustration, people avoid situations that can be challenging. This in turn duplicates their stress and anxiety.

In order to prevent this from happening to our children, it is important to help them build tolerance.

How to strengthen your child’s tolerance towards frustration?

A child’s immune system develops best when they are exposed to pollutants. After exposure, they form resistance. Therefore, children who grow up in sterile environments are more likely to suffer from allergies and other diseases.

Something similar occurs with tolerance towards frustration. It gets stronger when a child is exposed to frustration. This is the first piece of advice for parents.

1. Exposure to frustration contributes to emotional development

It is normal for you to want to protect your children from unpleasant situations. However, when you avoid these adverse emotions, you’re not allowing them to develop their abilities.

Perseverance, determination and the ability to overcome challenges are acquired when they face obstacles.

A child who is tolerant towards frustration will be a happy and successful adult. They’ll understand that experiences aren’t always nice but they’ll get through them without suffering terrible trauma.

2. Observe before coming to the rescue

Be patient and don’t solve your children’s problems immediately. Trust in their abilities to overcome their own challenges in their own way.

They don’t need you to give them all of the solutions. They just need help discovering them.

3. Help them express their emotions

Teach them that it’s always okay to cry or laugh when they’re feeling sad or happy. Expressing what they feel is the first step to feeling better.

All of the emotions that your children experience are valid and they’ll help them build character.

4. Establish well-defined limits

Sometimes children need you to respond with a “no.” It’s probably not what they want, but it is what they need.

You’re completely free to say “no” when they’re asking for a very expensive toy or want to watch television late at night. This way you’ll establish discipline and they’ll know they don’t always get what they want.

5. Teach them strategies to control their reactions

Show them how breathing, walking or listening to pleasant music can help them calm down. Relaxation is important in order to move from the feeling of frustration to finding a way out.

It is also important for them to know that, if they don’t find a solution, there is nothing wrong in asking for help.

6. Be an example

Surely you’ve heard this many times, but children learn more from your actions than from your words. If you act calmly when something doesn’t go the way you expect it to, the child will internalize your reaction and apply it.

Make sure your child develops in an environment where there are people who are tolerant.

7. Let them experience the results of their decisions

Children will have to make choices in their daily life, such as what to eat, what to wear and what toys to play with.

Make them understand that every time they make a decision, things happen around them and they have to accept the results even when they’re not pleasant.

This will help them in the future and allow them to learn to think harder about what they really want.

Your child’s future depends on the guidelines you place in their first few years of life. Good values, assertiveness and resilience are keys that will help your children be better people.

There is no one who doesn’t face challenges or adversity. If you help your children develop their tolerance towards frustration, you’ll prevent them from suffering excess stress in the future.