The Social Pressure to Become a Mother

Many women feel a kind of social pressure to become a mother. This is a misconception because every woman should feel free to choose the right time to become a mother. Read on!
The Social Pressure to Become a Mother
María Alejandra Castro Arbeláez

Written and verified by the psychologist María Alejandra Castro Arbeláez.

Last update: 31 October, 2019

Most women become mothers due to certain pressure, which is derived from social norms. People believe that, if you’re a woman, you have to grow up, get married, and have children. In fact, many women experience the social pressure to become a mother. In this article, we’ll discuss this issue further.

Certainly, many women have to endure many questions and comments when they decide they don’t want to have children. While it’s often useful to get advice and information from other people, sometimes the pressure may influence you more than you think.

Just as parents should tell their children that peer pressure shouldn’t influence their actions, many moms and dads should remember this more often as well.

For example, if you’re at a party where everyone drinks a lot of alcohol, you may easily have more drinks than you normally would at home. However, in this article, we’re going to talk about a much more important and relevant social pressure: the social pressure to become a mother.

The pressure between friends to become a mother

In today’s society, women who don’t choose to have children often feel isolated and misunderstood. Many women resort to their natural instincts to make the decision: the natural desire to procreate and nurture. However, some women don’t want to have children. So why is there social pressure to do so?

The truth is that many women feel excluded when their friends become pregnant. These women meet up with groups of other people their age and feel alone in the crowd, as the conversation moves from diapers to daycare options.

The Social Pressure to Become a Mother

Conversely, some women just aren’t made for motherhood. The thing is, the women who have children due to social pressure often believe they’ll love their children just because they’re women. They believe they’ll become good mothers once the baby is born. However, these are the same moms who you’ll find staring at their smartphones, ignoring their child when they’re crying.

Nowadays, you can still find absolutely unrealistic expectations of motherhood. Below, we’ll share the best tips or advice to deal with this kind of social pressure.

How to deal with social pressure to become a mother

Perhaps the best way to deal with the social pressure to become a mother is knowing yourself and having a solid understanding of why you have chosen not to have children, as you’ll be fully aware of your reasons.

Your list of reasons can include things you would have to sacrifice if you’d become a mother, your general life goals and passions, and what you dedicate your time and energy to. Conversely, if you have children due to circumstances beyond your control, focus on the positive aspects of this situation.

The Social Pressure to Become a Mother

Also, if you find yourself in a situation where you feel pressured or judged, handle it as you consider appropriate. In fact, if you don’t want to talk about your personal life, just say it.

On the other hand, if you choose to talk about your life choices, do it assertively. Remember that this doesn’t mean criticizing, intimidating, or controlling other people. Instead, honestly express your feelings with respect and understanding.

As a woman, you’re lucky enough to live in a society that really allows you to choose. In this regard, the more awareness you have of why you chose a particular lifestyle, the less uncertainty you’ll feel when you face the pressure.


Finally, we have to remind you that the social pressure to become a mother is due to the influence of social norms. Deviating from a social group’s usual behaviors is always frowned upon. In any case, as a woman, you shouldn’t have to deal with any kind of social pressure. You should feel free to make the decision you feel is right for you.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.