Mom, Love Me So I Will Be Brave Enough To Let You Go
Mom, love me so I will be brave enough to let you go. Love me so much that I can be sure that you will always be with me, even when you are out of sight.
Trust yourself, and trust me. Love me, but don’t trap me. Show me that the world around us is safe, too.
Love me so much that I put aside my fears and dare to explore a world full of people I don’t know and things I have yet to see or touch.
Love me and don’t tie me down. Allow me to tell you about my own achievements, and to look to you to share my determination.
You know, babies need to know that we are loved, just as much as we need food to eat. This is the only way that we feel capable of exploring and believing in ourselves at every step.
I know that, whatever happens, in you I will find the protection that I need.
You are my island of calm, my base camp
Mom, you need to know that my way of exploring and laying my own foundations will depend on how you respond when I look to you for approval.
You need to know that in under three months, my behavior will already have stabilized to some degree.
I will already know, more or less, what our relationship is like, how I can look to you and what kind of comfort I will find in your gaze, your arms and your words.
I am sure that when I cry, you will know how to soothe me. Don’t worry, it probably won’t always be easy, but we can always play together in a way that will help me to learn.
Your comforting gestures and the melody of your voice will help me feel good even when I am scared.
You must understand that sometimes I don’t understand you. You have to teach me, and you must be patient. I need to leave, so that I will have the need to search for you and find you. Only in this way will I achieve the emotional balance that is so necessary to us all.
When I am a year old
When I am one year old, I will already have my own little character.
I will be much more predictable, and both of us will know how I express pain, how I calm myself, how I deal with strangers, or hide from them, or even hit them with my little hands.
In a few months, I will already have become a little person, and I will be starting to take my place in the world. This could be difficult, but don’t be anxious, we will understand it together.
Notice the change that this brings. Before, I behaved however I wanted, but now I am starting to understand what you want from me.
So I try to let go of my own perceptions and understand that I have to relativize the world. I try to solve the puzzle of expectations and desires.
Beneath all of this there is a whole host of emotions, beliefs and intentions that can be complicated for me.
In fact, it will take many years (and, let’s be honest, many arguments too) until I understand that there are certain norms I have to follow.
This is why I ask you to be patient, mom. I want you to enjoy being with me at this stage of my life. Don’t stress, I am yours and you are mine.
I am a baby who is lucky to have my beloved mom by my side, who is so caring and unconditional.
Mom, I feel so grown up when I go exploring! I’m a big kid now! Thank you for trusting me! I know I couldn’t have done it without you!
The secret to educating secure, happy children
The fact that a baby turns into an explorer means that their surroundings become their base camp. This is the secret to educating secure, happy children.
For this to happen, we need to know how their character will develop, so that we can understand them and help them to discover the world around them with complete security.
This way, we will foster the development of self-expression, emotional awareness and other behavioral abilities.
This leads to balanced growth, allowing your child to explore different ways to gain knowledge of their surroundings and the life that they will live.
The best form of emotional support that we can offer our children, therefore, is to allow them to explore freely and without fear. This is something that they will always thank us for.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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- Bowlby, J. (1995). Teoría del apego. Lebovici, Weil-HalpernF.
- Garrido-Rojas, L. (2006). Apego, emoción y regulación emocional. Implicaciones para la salud. Revista latinoamericana de psicología, 38(3), 493-507. https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/805/80538304.pdf
- Marrone, M., Diamond, N., Juri, L., & Bleichmar, H. (2001). La teoría del apego: un enfoque actual. Madrid: Psimática.
- Moneta, M. (2003). El Apego. Aspectos clínicos y psicobiológicos de la díada madre-hijo. Santiago: Cuatro Vientos.
