How Do Parenting Mistakes Affect Children?

5 minutes

If you want to know how parenting mistakes hurt children, keep reading and learn how to identify these common mistakes.

How Do Parenting Mistakes Affect Children?

Written by Pablo Andrés Rojas Ramírez

Last update: 18 May, 2023

Becoming a parent of a small child is a wonderful experience that comes with many responsibilities. So, sometimes inexperience or lack of patience or wisdom can play against us and cause us to make some parenting mistakes with our children. Something that can turn them into dependent, insecure, and unempathetic people.

All parents can recognize that sometimes dealing with stressful situations can be very challenging. Because as much as we want to always use positive parenting, in specific situations, emotions win over reason and we act in a questionable way. However, to correct bad behaviors, there’s no need to resort to hurtful words or physical punishment. Great lessons can be learned through dialogue and respect.

5 ways in which parenting mistakes affect children

Although some mistakes in raising children are usually harmless and don’t have a negative impact on their lives, there are others that are very harmful. Even more so when they’re constantly repeated and begin to create emotional wounds that end up hurting children’s perception of themselves and others.

These are some parenting mistakes that affect children emotionally.

1. Comparing them to their peers

This attitude is very common among mothers of young children who want to encourage them to excel like their siblings or peers. However, when these kinds of comments are said on a regular basis and in a reproachful tone, it’s one of the serious parenting mistakes that only ends up generating jealousy, insecurity, resentment, and a sense of inadequacy in children.

A sad child sitting indoors with a soccer ball in his lap. — Nobody likes to feel that their abilities are insufficient and constantly judged. Comparisons only hurt feelings.

As parents, we must remember that all children have diverse abilities and personalities, and we can’t ask them all to fit into the same mold. For example, your child may not be as good at math as their sibling is, but their artistic abilities will astound all of their teachers. So, avoid comparisons and nurture personal talents.

2. Solving all their problems for them

As moms and dads, we want to provide our children with all the care they may require. That’s why, during their early years, we try to solve all their problems to avoid any accidents. But when that attitude extends through the years and we enclose children in a bubble of overprotection, they’re deeply hurt.

Those children who grew up in a home where everything was done for them and they were never taught basic responsibility tasks are more likely to be dependent and irresponsible adults. It’s fine to protect children from potential dangers, but they must learn to take charge of their duties and themselves from the time they’re young.

3. Using a permissive attitude

Mothers and fathers are our children’s guides. Through the role of the family and lessons, we instill values that allow them to be good people and behave in society. For this reason, when they make mistakes or don’t yet know how to manage their emotions, it’s important that we explain to them why their behavior was wrong so that they can learn from the situation.

A family that’s extremely permissive with their children and doesn’t establish clear limits and rules opens the door for children to behave in unacceptable ways and believe that they have the right to do so. Something that brings with it the appearance of violent and egocentric behaviors. However, inside, they’re insecure shy children who don’t know how to relate.

4. Lack of assertive communication

Children need to feel heard and valued when they need to tell you about something relevant to them. So, use positive communication and assertive listening when they’re telling you something. Dialogue is the most powerful tool for connecting with children and letting them see that we’re there for them to help them improve.

A toddler having a tantrum. — Yelling and tantrums are very stressful, but they’re the way children express their emotions. Communicating calmly and listening to them is key.

Also, try to spend quality time with your children every day no matter what work or personal obligations may arise. Parents aren’t merely economic providers, but also emotional providers. So, don’t neglect your responsibilities and share with your little ones every day, this way, you’ll increase trust and reduce distancing.

5. Using any type of violence

Much has been said about the impact of physical and psychological violence in raising children. A large number of parents still don’t understand the great emotional damage that their yelling, threats, hitting, and hurtful words do to their children.

Violence only generates more violence, and although a problem may seem easy to solve with a scolding, the truth is that it only calms it momentarily. These attitudes only create insecure and unempathetic children who will use what they see at home with their peers, using the same violence used with them in other scenarios. Setting a good example is essential.

Try to avoid these parenting mistakes with your children

No motherhood or fatherhood is perfect. Along the way, there are always ups and downs that put our patience to the test. Therefore, try to avoid these typical mistakes and use dialogue, a good example, and discipline to instill valuable lessons.

Finally, remember to give your children the wings and freedom to fly. Don’t attempt to solve all their problems for them, praise them excessively, or compare them to others if you want them to have the confidence to learn new things and stand on their own two feet. Be an example to your little ones and give them your love and wisdom.