The Importance of Listening to Your Kids

Listening to your kids lets them know you care and you're interested in what they have to say. This isn't always easy and in this article, we'll talk about this in-depth.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz Martín.

Last update: 27 December, 2022

Being a mother isn’t easy. Sometimes, you don’t have enough time and you miss part of your child’s childhood. Listening to your kids when they’re talking to you will help them develop many aspects of their life. Yet sometimes, parents are too wrapped up in their busy lives to see how important this is.

For children, their parents are their world, their heroes. How their parents connect to them will influence their outlook on life and themselves, what they expect of the world and their social circle. Be careful with how you act or talk in front of them, remember that kids copy what they see.

Why is listening to your kids so important?

Children are unpredictable and can be inconvenient at times. Sometimes, you tell them you’ll talk later. However, if this happens a lot and you get used to not listening to them or paying them attention, this can have bad consequences.

Self-esteem

When you listen to your child, you’re validating them. You’re letting them know they’re important and deserving of love and attention.

Just like adults, children need to know someone has their back, that they’re willing to listen to them and willing to hear what they’ve got to say. By listening to them, you’re showing them respect and affection and they’ll feel better about themselves.

If you ignore them, even when you don’t mean to, they’ll feel worthless, like they’re in the way. They’ll learn not to share their thoughts and opinions, because they’ll feel nobody cares. They’ll lack the confidence to live life to the fullest.

Social skills

Social skills develop through age. Children are just starting to learn about social rules and acting on this. Therefore, sometimes they’ll talk a little louder than they should or they may interrupt people.

However, they won’t learn if they don’t practice enough. Listen and talk to them. This will help them train these skills and trust in their ability to follow social rules. If they’re not offered enough chances to freely express themselves, and learn from that, they may not develop their social skills to the fullest.

Trust

Teenagers mostly keep to themselves, and their parents give them hell for this. What parents don’t realize is that trust needs to be built since childhood. Children can tell if you’re showing fake interest in their conversations or just try to avoid them altogether.

If you make them feel you’re a person they can go to to be heard and feel supported, it’ll be easier to keep this bond through their teenage years. Listening to your kid will help you get to know them, knowing what they like and don’t like, what’s worrying them, what they’re afraid of. They won’t hesitate to come to you whenever they need advice.

The art of listening to your kids

• Children tend to digress and explain things too slowly. Be patient and try not to interrupt them when they’re talking. Wait until they finish their story and then share your opinion.
• Practice active listening skills. It’s not enough to just listen to what they say. Show them interest, true interest. You might need to get yourself to their level and look them in the eye while they talk.
• Try to not be judgemental. If they start feeling like they’re being judged, they’re less likely to get back to you to talk about their life or feelings. Be sympathetic and patient.
• Take a moment of your day to talk without distractions and dedicating yourself to the child.

The time you spend talking and listening to your kids will be a valuable investment. You’ll help them develop their self-esteem and trust in themselves. They’ll develop their social skills and you’ll build a trusting relationship with them.