My Friends Don't Like My Partner: What Can I Do?

Sometimes when we meet someone and start a new relationship, we worry they won't be accepted by our circle of friends. How much importance should we give to our friends' approval?

You’ve recently met someone and started a relationship. Sooner or later, the moment will come when you’ll introduce your partner to your friends. This is a vital step to securing your bond. But you may wondering: “What should I do if my friends don’t like my partner?”

If they’re old friends that you really trust, they’ll tell you straight out. If they don’t know how to express it, they’ll show you somehow.

For this reason, it’s important to make time to get together. This will give them a chance to express their concerns out loud, but always with respect.

My friends don’t like my partner… How do I address the problem?

Before talking to your friends, it would be a good idea to answer some questions for yourself. For example, what do my friends mean to me? What have they thought of other partners? Why might my friends not like my partner? Does my partner know? What do they think?

Sometimes friends are like sisters. This isn’t necessarily positive if we think of family as restrictive or oppressive. When a group of friends is a sort of clan, a new arrival has to go through many tests before they’re approved by the group. 

Is that why your friends don’t like your partner? If you think that’s the case, it probably doesn’t bother you. It’s obviously not possible to please everyone, or fit in with every group.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, the rest may just be a question of time. 

Reflect on romantic love

There is something very important for everyone to do when in a relationship: think about your own concept of love. In particular, the concept of romantic love. 

The purpose of this investigation is to find a solid, realistic base that can bring you well-being. This helps you clarify your vision, leave behind outmoded ideas, and free yourself of idealizations. 

In other words, you can’t expect to build a real relationship based on old-fashioned ideas in the middle of the 21st century.

Having reflected deeply on the concept of romantic love, it’s a good idea to think about how well your ideas and expectations match reality.

Do you like your partner?

If  “my friends don’t like my partner” is a concern that resonates with you, it’s important that you seriously question whether you yourself like your partner. Remember that well-being is important to all relationships.

With respect to your partner, if you choose the second option in the majority of these questions, maybe you should listen to your friends.

• Do you feel respected, or do they criticize every decision you make?
• Do they love you as you are, or are they constantly finding faults?
• Do they like you to have friends, or would they rather spend 24 hours a day together?
• Do you laugh a lot, or are you unhappy, bitter and tearful?
• Are you afraid of your partner’s anger? Do you avoid confronting them?
• Do they show concern for you, your needs, your time, and your fears, or do they get evasive when you ask for help?

Find the balance between what your friends tell you and what you think, experience, and feel with your partner yourself. Don’t ignore others’ opinions, but don’t let yourself be entirely swayed by what they say.

Talk to your friends, communicate with your partner, but above all, be honest with yourself.