I’m Going to Meet My Mother’s New Partner
Are you going to meet your mother’s new partner? There are currently many women, whether separated, divorced or widowed, who have decided to rebuild their lives.
After recovering from the initial bow, these women are presented with the opportunity to continue their lives with a new partner.
Although they may be happy and rejuvenated, deep down they feel the intrigue of not knowing how their children will react when they find out there’s someone new in their life. Will their children accept the new partner or not?
As children, we must understand that life continues and we must provide support for our mothers. We aren’t capable of proving the kind of love that a couple does.
We also came of age. We were able to take flight to make the life we dreamed of. We left the nest empty and it was our right to do so.
However, we must also be prepared and have an open mind to know that, at any time, mom may meet a man and she may have the opportunity to resume her love life.
It’s normal to feel jealousy, anger or disagreement. These feelings arise from the fear that we harbor that our mothers may get hurt.
Meeting your mother’s new partner: her happiness comes first
If you put yourself in her shoes, you’ll realize that maybe it hasn’t been easy for her to find a new love and to have enough courage to make it known to the family.
How should I act?
Let’s not get carried away by first impressions. You may not like the person’s appearance at first. The best thing you can do is try to get to know the person.
It’s wise to consult your mother first to find out about the person’s interest. With this knowledge you’ll be able to engage in more entertaining conversations.
You must always show empathy towards your mother and her new partner. Propose a pleasant space for the first meeting like a restaurant or a cafe.
“It must be understood that life continues and we must provide support for our mothers.”
Set limits
It’s healthy to set limits. Don’t think that you have to betray your father in order to support your mother. It doesn’t work like that.
Keep in mind that your father is an experienced adult. He’ll be able to understand your mother’s decision. He’ll also be in search of new love.
Having constant and open conversations is fundamental. If you start to feel that something isn’t right, talk about it to reach a point of mutual understanding. Surely, your mother will be able to appreciate the trust and support you’re providing her.
When you reach the point of trust, you can ask her about anything that concerns you. Having knowledge about her new partner will help you handle the situation in the best way possible.
In this sense, you should have an open mind when meeting the new partner. And of course, you should go with the hope that it will be the beginning of a new stage of happiness for your mother.
“As children, it must be understood that life continues and we must provide support for our mothers.”
Accept the inevitable
Acceptance is a value that we must cultivate and we should begin with our own families. You don’t have to be full of joy when you meet your mother’s new partner.
Little by little you’ll learn every detail about this new person. If at first impression there is something that you don’t like, you can bring it up at another time.
The first meeting isn’t the right place to voice your opinions. It’s best to wait to be alone with your mother to talk to her personally.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is everyone’s happiness. If your mother feels happy, you should too. Who knows? You may end up getting along perfectly well with your mother’s new partner.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Mendez-Aponte, Emily. (2002). Cuando papá y mamá se separan. Editorial San Pablo.
- Vallejo-Nágera, A., & Aragon, B. R. (2006). Hijos de padres separados: consejos para recuperar la armonía y el respeto ante un nuevo futuro. Temas de hoy.
- Largo, R. H. (2000). Hijos felices de padres separados. Medici, 32.
- Cuixart, P. C. (2013). El hijo de padres separados. Pediatr Integral-Universidad Abat Oliba CEU, de Barcelona, 17(10), 71-677. https://www.pediatriaintegral.es/wp-content/uploads/2013/xvii10/01/671-677%20Padres%20separados.pdf