28 Questions to Open Up a Conversation With Your Child
One of the biggest concerns of parents of young children or teenagers is how to communicate effectively with them. Quite often the issues surrounding dialogue and conversation open up a huge gap between one generation and another. In this article you’ll find some of the best questions to start a conversation with your child.
Even if you are an adult and have to live your life as a responsible and mature person, you must still find things in common with your children. Finding subtle ways to get to know your children better will help you reduce the distance that can often grow between you during adolescence.
“The best way to keep children at home is to build a pleasant atmosphere in the home”
–Dorothy Parker–
The 28 best questions to establish a conversation with your teenager
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- Who are your best friends?
- What would be a perfect day for you?
- What has been the most embarrassing moment in your life?
- If you could meet any person, living or dead, who would it be?
- What are your dreams?
- What is your oldest memory?
- Can you tell us what you like most / least about yourself?
- What is the most difficult part of your life at this moment in time?
- What worries you most in your life at the moment?
- If you are angry or stressed what makes you feel better?
Upset and depression
- How can I help you when you feel upset?
- How often do you feel depressed or overwhelmed?
- What things make you feel sad or hurt your feelings?
- What is the most beautiful compliment you have ever received?
- If you could be famous, what would you like to be famous for?
- What has been the best / worst thing that has happened to you at school?
- What do you think would be the ideal university course for you when you finish high school?
- Are you happy with the quality and quantity of the friendships you have?
- What sort of person would you like to start a relationship with?
- Do you feel attracted to anyone at the moment?
- How would you like your life to be in 10 years’ time?
- If you had a large amount of money right now, how would you spend it?
- What would you change about your family?
- Have you ever felt uncomfortable talking to your family?
- What could I do to make you feel more confident when we’re talking together?
- Is there anything special you’d like us to do as a family?
- What are the things that make you feel grateful for your life?
Establish a conversation with your child: tips to achieve it
Make sure your questions are subtle and not too direct. Your kids will be more inclined to tell you things that are happening to them when they feel that you’re not looking to blame them or extract information by force. If you ask the questions in a natural way, they will answer you honestly.
Listen without interrupting. When your kids start to tell you something and you interrupt them, they may not bother trying again. When you want to start a conversation with your child, simply let him talk as much as he wants, and be understanding about what he is trying to tell you.
It’s much better for children to be able to express themselves freely than to be restrained and find that they can’t trust you.
Don’t judge
Do your best not to judge. When teenagers feel they are being targeted, then they tend to rebel and start to keep secrets.
If you feel you should speak against your child’s opinion, then make sure you’re calm before speaking. You can still keep your authority by speaking slowly and with assertiveness.
Show your children that you’re there for them. Many children think that their parents are too busy to listen to them and prefer to keep quiet.
Let them know that you’ll always have time for them and that you’ll leave whatever you are doing when they need you. Sometimes it isn’t your children not wanting to actually talk, but rather that they don’t feel comfortable in the conversation.
Control your reactions. Young people should see that you are able to listen to what they’re telling you, without judging them. If you can’t control your emotions then they will think twice about approaching you about personal things.
Good communication between parents and children is so important, and you should really work hard to make that connection. Teenagers who have a good relationship with their parents usually have a higher self-esteem.
In addition to that, if they feel close to you then they will be less influenced by the things that surround them – things that often exert a lot of negative pressure on them.
If you follow some of our steps then little by little you’ll begin to see how having a conversation with your child is not so difficult after all.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Alonso, A. (2018). Cómo hablar con tu hijo: 6 recomendaciones para mejorar la comunicación. Recuperado 17 de diciembre de 2021, de Psyciencia website: https://www.psyciencia.com/como-hablar-con-tu-hijo/
- Grosser Guillén, K. (2011). Adolescentes y adultos ¿Es posible una interacción sin juzgar ni castigar? ¿Qué hay detrás del llamado conflicto generacional? Actualidades investigativas en educación, 3(1). doi:10.15517/aie.v3i1.9006
- Schmidt, V., Maglio, A., Messoulam, N., Molina, M. F., & Gonzalez, A. (2010). La comunicación del adolescente con sus padres: Construcción y validación de una escala desde un enfoque mixto. Revista Interamericana de Psicología/Interamerican Journal of Psychology, 44(2), 299-311. https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/284/28420641011.pdf
- Vallet, M. (2006).Cómo educar a nuestros adolescentes: un esfuerzo que merece la pena. WK Educación.
