What Does It Mean to Be a Conscious Mother?

Being a conscious mother means taking care of our actions and our words, and always acting with love and respect.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz Martín.

Last update: 27 December, 2022

Being a mother is as hard as it is rewarding. Mothers face great demands (both external and internal) and a lot of pressure. You love your children so much that you’re desperate to do everything right. However, this isn’t always easy; parenting presents us with problems that we often don’t know how to solve. The important thing to remember here is that you don’t need to be a perfect mother, you just need to be a conscious mother.

We can read books and articles on parenting, and ask relatives, friends and health professionals for their opinions. We can rack our brains learning the best parenting techniques and trying to implement them to the letter.

But, when it comes down to it, we’re not talking here about a rigid set of activities, but, rather, a mindset. If unconditional love and respect for your child guides your steps, then they’ll undoubtedly be happy and healthy.

What does it mean to be a conscious mother?

You’re not my property

Many parents feel that, as they’ve given their children life, their children belong to them. Being a conscious mother implies that we understand that our children are not our property – they’re a gift. We simply have the honor of accompanying them on their journey. They’re individual beings who deserve to live and experience.

So, you need to understand that your mission isn’t for your child to obey you, but, rather, for them to understand and internalize the values that will guide their steps.

The goal isn’t for them to follow your orders like an automaton, out of fear or because of the authority you exercise over them, but for them to understand the natural repercussions of their actions and choose how to behave.

By the same token, your child hasn’t come into the world to fulfill your dreams or to follow in your footsteps. They have the right to develop their own personality, have their own tastes, preferences and opinions, and to express them freely.

So, you can guide and advise them, but, they’ll be the one who’ll decide what sports or artistic activities they want to take part in, who they want to be friends with, what sense of style they’ll have, and what type of job they’d like to pursue in the future.

Respect them deeply as a human being. Listen to them and understand them. Guide them with examples from your experience, but never impose or force them to do things. After all, you’re both two different, individual people.

I’m careful about my daily actions

Being a conscious mother means exactly that: being aware of the steps we take every day in how we raise our children. It implies not acting in an automatic, impulsive or uncontrolled way, and being careful with the words we say to them and also our actions. Think carefully and pause before saying something you may later regret.

In the same way, you should be prepared to reconsider and ask for forgiveness if you get things wrong in the heat of the moment. Yes, parents can also apologize to their children. In fact, this is a very healthy and honest exercise that will strengthen your bond and the trust you have together.

It’s important to provide the child with an area at home that they can call their own. Their room should be their sanctuary, a place where they feel safe. Because of that, we must respect their privacy. And, just as we allow them to decorate and use that area, they must also be committed to keeping it clean and tidy.

Likewise, we must be very conscious when we’re talking about our children. Don’t use labels or adjectives to describe their behavior. Don’t talk about them as a shy, messy or disobedient child. These affirmations will go deep into their mind and shape their personality. Allow them to be who they are without judgments or labeling.

As a conscious mother, I give you the best of me

Finally, as a conscious mother, I choose to give you my best. However, this doesn’t mean I’ll make irresponsible sacrifices or obligations that I’ll later reproach you for. It doesn’t mean I’ll abandon my status as a woman and devote myself to your body and soul, as this will only lead me to frustration and dissatisfaction. And, sooner or later, I’ll feel that you’re indebted to me.

On the contrary, I choose to look after myself, respect myself, and give myself a fulfilling life. I’ll aim to always be happy so that I can offer you the best of me without burdening you with the responsibility for my state of mind.

I strive to work on my own emotional wounds, self-demands, and feelings of guilt. And, in doing so, I’ll be able to look after you. By loving and respecting myself, I’ll love and respect you.