The Orange Rhino Technique to Stop Yelling
The orange rhino technique was created in 2012 by an American mother who, after realizing that she was yelling all the time, decided to put an end to it. So, she created a method in order to stop yelling at her four children.
When she saw the effectiveness of the technique she’d invented, she opened a blog called “The Orange Rhino Challenge.” Her goal was to help other mothers and fathers achieve this goal. In her blog, she described her experience and the steps to follow in order to stop yelling at your children for 365 days and even longer.
Do you want to know how to use the orange rhino technique? Then keep reading.
The orange rhino technique in 6 easy steps
1. Recognize the problem and decide to use the orange rhino technique to change
The first step is always to recognize that there’s a problem and that change is necessary. This is the only way to commit to the challenge of no longer screaming at your children and focusing all your energy on achieving it.
2. Establish a goal
Then, you must set a clear, motivating and measurable goal. In principle, the original idea is to manage not to scream for a whole year.
However, you can adapt this according to each person and their situation. For example, you can set the goal of going 30 days without screaming, 1 week, 1 month, etc.
Furthermore, you need to share your goal with those close to you (friends and family) so they can hold you accountable. That way, the responsibility becomes real. In addition, these people can act as an important support network to turn to when you need encouragement or advice with the challenge.
3. Identify your reasons for yelling
This is the most complicated step. It consists of recording and analyzing the situations in which you feel like shouting. To do this, you must record in writing the time of day when this happens, as well as your own and your children’s moods, the reason for the shouting, etc. This way, you can easily identify the problems and take steps to prevent them.
4. Start practicing
It’s time to stop screaming! This isn’t something you can do overnight; it’s a long process. During the first days of the challenge, you can choose to walk away from your children when you feel the immediate urge to raise your voice. Then, as time goes by, you can substitute other less aggressive sounds (animal sounds, whistles, etc.) for yelling.
As you repeat these self-control behaviors, the need to scream gradually disappears. At this point, try to remain calm when you identify the problem, for example, by breathing deeply, closing your eyes, and imagining yourself somewhere else, listening to music, etc.
5. Have the objective of not shouting always in mind
To remember the orange rhino technique and stick to your goal, you can decorate the house with some orange objects or wear an orange garment.
6. Be persistent
Perseverance is the key to carrying out the challenge successfully. It’s clear that, especially in the beginning, you’ll have your moments. But you can’t allow these episodes to discourage you. Rather, see them as a way to learn and improve.
In addition, it’s good to focus on small achievements and reinforce yourself positively. That way, little by little, you’ll direct your thoughts toward calmness and reflection, so that shouting stops being part of your everyday life at home.
Benefits of using the orange rhino technique
The main benefit of putting the orange rhino technique into practice is that you’ll achieve a better family atmosphere. Your home will be more harmonious and respectful, with more tranquility and dialogue.
In addition, you’ll learn to control your impulses and manage anger and tension in an appropriate way… As a result, this will be transmitted to your children, who will surely imitate such appropriate behaviors.
For all these reasons, many mothers and fathers claim that this technique has changed their lives. So, what are you waiting for?
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- McCraith, S. (2014). Yell Less, Love More: How the Orange Rhino Mom Stopped Yelling at Her Kids-and How You Can Too! Massachusetts: Four Winds Press.
