Advice for Parents: How to Raise Responsible and Independent Children

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist María Alejandra Castro Arbeláez.

Written by Macarena Esperanza Marina

Last update: 27 December, 2022

Do you want your children to grow up to be responsible and independent? 

Science provides parents with a series of valuable tips for raising children that are successful. That’s why today we want to share with you some of the most relevant advice.

Let’s be honest. This is one of the biggest worries that mothers have. We all want our children to be able to express themselves. We want them to be able to say what they like, what they don’t like, what they need.

Every mother wants their children to share their dreams, their aspirations, and also the things that hurt them.

Of course, we also want our children to be true to themselves, to be kind to others, and not be dependent on others. 

However, raising a child that acts independently and autonomously, without having a negative impact on their personality can seem like a daunting task.

Nevertheless, Business Insider, a financial and business news website, brought together findings from diverse scientific studies on the issue.

In doing so, they pointed out specific practices that mothers and fathers can employ so that they become habits. And, of course, later become a way of life for their children.

5 practices that parents should practice to raise responsible and independent children

1. Show your children you trust in them completely. Believe in your children’s ability and potential. If your children have confidence in themselves, then just be there to encourage them. Don’t take away their impulse or fill them with fear or uncertainty. Give them wings to fly without the fear of making mistakes. Give them a positive mindset that allows them to dream about all there is to experience and learn. Show that you’re willing to help them when they need it, encourage them when they’re down, and applaud their triumphs.
2. Preach with your own example every day. This is the best way to teach and raise your children. If you want to bring up children that are responsible, respectful and independent, then act according to your goal. Teach them how things are done. Remember that kids are like sponges that absorb everything their parents do and say, and then repeat it automatically.
3. Motivate and stimulate your children to get far out of their comfort zones. Demand that your little ones always make an extra effort. Of course, don’t push them too far, but encourage them to try new things and accept challenges. This will keep them from getting stuck in a rut. And don’t forget to recognize every attempt and congratulate their achievements at every age.
4. Help your children develop positive social skills. This is a valuable tip for parents. There exists a certain relationship between the social skills of a child and their future success as an adult. Science indicates that little ones who cooperate with their peers, understand their feelings and solve problems on their own are more prone to success. They’re more likely to get a degree when they’re older and find a stable job.
5. Relax and enjoy. Leave stress and anger aside. Some studies affirm that when parents are stressed, children take on the same emotions and act in consequence. Therefore, the best thing you can do is stay calm, practice patience and be tolerant. Take a deep breath, count to 10, and look at the bright side. Enjoy the joy and innocence that characterizes your little ones.

3 tips for parents of small children

• It’s all about obligations and responsibilities. Teaching your children about sacrifice, effort and hard work is something that parents need to teach their children from a young age. Give your children obligations and responsiblities in your home, according to their ages. Encourage them not to give up, and hold back from doing everything for them. This will allow them to learn about cooperating and working as a team.
• Teach your children that they’re responsible for their actions. It’s important that parents teach their children that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s a part of life. In fact, our mistakes are what allow us to learn, mature and grow. However, we all must take responsibility for our errors – even children. This is part of what motivates us to improve the way we do things.

• The power of perseverance. According to researchers, having “grit” – a powerful personality characteristic – pushes people towards success. Grit refers to “the power of passion and perseverance.” It’s also defined as “the tendency to maintain an interest in and effort towards very long-term goals.” Teach your children to imagine and to commit themselves to the future they want to create for themselves.

Of course, like everything else that has to do with bringing up a child, it’s always important to keep in mind your child’s age and stage of development.

You’ll need to adapt the above advice accordingly. And remember to have fun while you do so!