Happy Parents, Happy Children: The Basic Rule of Motherhood
What parent wouldn’t give what it takes to ensure their children’s wellbeing and happiness? Every morning, from the moment we wake up, we think about what will be best for them. And we sacrifice ourselves for the sake of our little ones. We spend hours and hours learning about the best parenting techniques, theories and trends. And then we spend another big chunk of time worrying and feeling guilty for not doing our best. But what if the answer was actually much simpler? What if our children really need happy parents?
The latest generations of parents have experienced, and are experiencing, a type of parenting that’s full of demands. Fortunately, we’re more and more aware of the importance of the upbringing we received. As a result, we make a greater effort to raise our children with love and responsibility.
Unfortunately, however, it’s that same pressure to be perfect that leads us to make the biggest mistake: Not enjoying the experience of raising a child.
What does it mean to be happy parents?
Saying that the best thing we can do for our children is to be happy parents doesn’t mean that we should be negligent or selfish. People who try to continue their lives as they did before parenting, who are physically or emotionally absent for their children, maybe happy… But they’re not acting like parents.
At the same time, those who go out of their way to think about the wellbeing of their children and sacrifice their own needs are indeed being parents… But they’re certainly not being happy.
The key is, therefore, to be parents who are happy to be parents. This means taking care of our children as well as ourselves. It means understanding that taking care of our children doesn’t ruin our lives. Nor should we ruin it for ourselves by blindly giving ourselves to our children’s care. Being happy parents means finding a balance in which we can feel satisfied and fulfilled as parents.
Happy parents, happy children: Why?
We can invest our time in learning theories about sleeping habits, healthy eating, or alternative pedagogies. Being informed is, without a doubt, a sign of maturity and responsibility that will allow us to raise our children in a more conscious way. However, beyond all this, the basic rule of a happy home is that it should be full of laughter and love.
There are many ways in which our state of mind influences our children’s wellbeing. There is no point in following the manuals to see if, at the end of the day, we feel dissatisfied, sad, and frustrated with our lives. The best gift we can give our children is happy parents, and these are the reasons why.
Modeling
Children learn from their parents’ attitudes, beliefs and dispositions towards life. Growing up with happy, satisfied and positive parents will give children a valuable legacy. Happy parents lay the foundations for a positive outlook on life; allowing children to be capable of perceiving the good side of things, have fun, and enjoy every little moment.
On the contrary, having parental role models full of anger, stress, sadness and dissatisfaction will lead children to experience the same emotions.
Availability
At the same time, there’s no doubt that our own state of mind determines how available we are to our children. If we feel full, fulfilled and happy, we’ll be able to give them more attention, care and quality time than if we feel exhausted, overwhelmed and sad.
Guilt
Finally, it’s important to remember that, if we put our lives, needs, desires and longings aside to give ourselves to parenthood, then sooner or later we’ll become frustrated. Either directly or indirectly, we’ll unload that frustration on our children. One way or another, we’ll pass on to them the idea that we gave up everything for them, that they were a burden, and that they owe us for all that sacrifice.
Take care of yourself in order to care for your kids
In short, remember that your happiness is directly related to that of your children. Keep in mind that you have the right to grow and develop as a human being in other areas of your life. And you deserve to move forward in your career, share time with friends, and enjoy moments for yourself.
Far from being a selfish act, this is an act of love – and not only self-love. It’s also an act of love toward your children to whom you’ll be giving a satisfied, available and guilt-free parent. A parent who will be a model of happiness.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Biddulph, S. (1996). El secreto del niño feliz: una guía imprescindible para padres y educadores. Edaf.
- Papa, Y. (2019, agosto 1). Retrato de una familia feliz. Recuperado agosto de 2020, de https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/retrato-de-una-familia-feliz/
