9 Top Expert Parenting Tips You Should Know

Parenting tips aren't universal truths, but they can help you understand what your child is like and the stages of development.

Written and verified by the psychologist Maria Fátima Seppi Vinuales.

Last update: 28 June, 2023

Perhaps the only valid recipe for parenting is to know that there’s no recipe. The path you walk with your children is unique and particular. To reduce the pressure, you must accept that parenting is something you learn to do while you’re doing it, but you must also accept help and understand that you’re not alone. With that in mind, do you want to know the best tips from parenting experts?

In this article, we’ll talk about those tips that you can put into practice with your children. Best of all, they’re suggestions given by parenting experts.

The best parenting tips according to experts

Some recommendations from parenting experts to accompany your child’s development are the following.

1. Don’t be afraid of showing affection

You’ve surely heard some comments such as “If you hold them all the time, that’s all they’ll want”, “Don’t give them so much affection or they’ll end up being spoiled,” etc. But nothing could be further from the truth. According to positive parenting advice, closeness and affection reinforce the bond with your children and facilitate the development of a secure attachment relationship.

Therefore, the opposite of what’s predicted happens. According to Inés Di Bartolo, a psychologist specializing in attachment issues in children, “They’re not inconsiderate or spoiled, but rather secure, trusting, and sensitive to others.”

2. Set limits regarding the use of technology

Technology came into our lives to stay, not to dominate us. As adults, you must choose for yourself the rules for the use of different devices. It’s true that many parents give their children a cell phone to avoid a tantrum or to entertain them. However, this strategy can be a double-edged sword.

Regulate technology according to your child’s age and not according to how loud they scream when they ask for it. On this point, neuropsychologist Alvaro Bilbao is conclusive, stating that “Brain development needs to experience many activities, such as running, painting, getting dirty, jumping, playing outdoors, before accessing technology.”

3. Be an example

Don’t ask your children to do what you’re unable to sustain with your own actions. This sends double messages and confuses them. For example, if you don’t allow cell phone use during meals, avoid doing it yourself.

4. Allow them to make mistakes

Avoid being an overprotective adult who solves everything for your children. Life’s also made of mistakes, and you learn from them. It’s better for your children to make mistakes, because by doing so, they test themselves, get to know themselves, and begin to discover what they’re capable of. If you always solve everything for them, you leave them little room to explore.

In turn, Rafael Guerrero, psychologist and parenting expert, suggests that parents can transmit the ideas of processes and mistakes as part of learning. There are processes that require time, just as mistakes are part of the journey.

5. Don’t punish your children by withdrawing your affection

“If you keep misbehaving like this, I won’t love you anymore.” In the rhythm of everyday life, you may not notice what you say or the enormous power of your words. What do you think you’re conveying when you tell your child that you won’t love them if they misbehave? You’re telling them that you only love them when they’re good, that you only accept when they’re easy to deal with, that there’s no “with you through thick and thin.”

6. Learn to manage your emotions, so they can do it, too

Maritchu Seitún, also a parenting expert, suggests that emotional intelligence in families is key. Otherwise, children grow up unaware of the important and valuable information provided by emotions. Therefore, this is one of the most relevant parenting tips.

It’s nothing more and nothing less than teaching them to recognize how they feel, what makes them uncomfortable, what makes them feel good, when they’re afraid, and when they need help.

Most of the time, the importance of the cognitive component in intelligence has been overestimated, discarding or underestimating the role of the emotional component. Undoubtedly, learning to discover and manage emotions is a great source of learning and a process that even reinforces the cognitive.

7. Share moments

In a world of overflowing agendas, tasks, and activities, the best thing you can offer your child is quality time. It’s not about being available 24/7, but when you are with your child, don’t allow interruptions. This will help you form a better bond.

8. Set limits, respect them, and make sure they’re respected

Limits are necessary. They guide us and allow us to understand “how far” we can go. Therefore, it’s necessary for children to have clear, coherent, and consistent limits for their age. Limits are synonymous with respect.

You must also be specific about the consequences when your child exceeds certain limits. This isn’t about punishment, but about the responsibility they must take for their own actions.

9. Encourage autonomy

Psychologist Rafael Guerrero points out that it’s important to show children that you trust them. This allows you to give them the security to dare to explore. In this way, you foster solid self-esteem and they learn to value themselves and feel capable because someone else also believes in them.

So, how should I raise my child?

In terms of parenting, there are multiple “philosophies” that will tell you what to do. However, it’s important to know that this process doesn’t follow a linear or unique path. In some families and with some children, it’s easier to apply certain suggestions than in other cases. These parenting tips that we’ve just given you will surely be of help.

The most important thing is not to punish yourself by thinking that you are a bad parent. Rather, try to be consistent with your values and with what you believe and want to transmit.

Knowing your children and your family and talking to them will be – most of the time – the main tool to understand how to act and what’s the most convenient.