Keys to Help Children Get Rid Of Anger

Anger is a natural and necessary emotion like any other. However, if you’ve noticed that your child finds it difficult to get rid of this state, maybe he needs your help.

When your children get upset about something, do they find it hard to get back on track? Have you noticed that the negative emotions stay with them longer than they should? Helping children get rid of anger is a task in which parents have a lot to say. Therefore, we want to present you with some tips that can be of great help.

Anger is an emotion as natural as any other. It helps us be aware that something frustrates us, seems unfair or we wish it were different. It also gives us the impulse to assert our rights and opinions.

Therefore, it’s not positive to try to eliminate or repress this emotion in children. However, it’s necessary to teach them to manage it in a healthy and appropriate manner.

Does your child find it difficult to get rid of anger?

In general, anger problems in children are related to a disproportionate or explosive expression of this feeling. Some children have difficulty controlling their impulses and may explode when certain limits are established for them.

However, regardless of what this initial reaction may be like, some children find it almost impossible to get rid of anger once this state grabs them.

This is something that happens to adults as well. Depending on our personalities, some of us forget quarrels easily and move on without a hint of bitterness, while others get stuck in a bitter and unpleasant feeling of irritation that can linger for hours or days.

Children with this tendency may actually suffer from it. It’s very likely that they wish to stop feeling angry, to regain harmony and good relationships with others, and yet they don’t know how to do it. So, what can we do for them?

How can we help children get rid of anger?

To teach children how to get rid of anger, we have to provide them with effective emotional intelligence strategies. These must be taught in calm situations in which children can understand them and introduce them into their habitual repertoire. Trying to explain them in a moment of anger won’t be useful nor positive.

1. Identify and accept the emotion

First of all, it’s important that the child learns to identify the emotion and put it into words. To do this, we can encourage them to ask themselves questions such as: “How do I feel, why am I angry, who am I angry with?” In addition, they must know that their emotion is valid, that they have the right to feel it and express it.

2. Communicate assertively

While it’s perfectly legitimate for them to express their anger, they must learn to communicate it in an appropriate way. Uncontrolled outbursts can lead to self-harm and damage relationships with others. So, let’s help them express themselves assertively.

This can be very difficult when anger is at its peak, so it’s preferable to calm down first. To do this, we can use different strategies:

• Teach breathing techniques or relaxation exercises.
• Use anchors that help them redirect to a calmer emotional state.
• Suggest they write down their displeasure and what they’re feeling at the moment.
• Invite them to draw or doodle, to unload their anger on paper until it decreases.

3. Look for solutions

Finally, one of the main reasons why it may be difficult for them to get over their anger is because they continue to think about what happened. Repeating the scene that upset us only increases our discomfort and prevents us from moving forward and finding an appropriate solution.

So, invite your children to reflect on what they can do to remedy the situation and prevent it from happening again in the future. Apologizing, accepting apologies from others, negotiating, or reaching agreements are useful and effective strategies to teach them so that they can put them into practice.

Helping children get rid of anger by setting an example

Finally, it’s important to review what example we’re setting ourselves as parents. It’s common for children who find it difficult to get rid of anger to have a parent with the same difficulties. How do you and your partner manage your own emotions?

Remember that children observe and imitate us. Therefore, if their main reference figures are incapable of transform their own emotional states, the child will be too. Start with you.