How Motherhood Tests Marriage for New Parents

The arrival of a child is a beautiful and unique experience. It also involves significant changes in married life. The baby gets all the parents' attention, time and space. Therefore, motherhood can make marriage a little more difficult.
How Motherhood Tests Marriage for New Parents

Last update: 10 December, 2018

If motherhood tests marriage, what can you do to overcome it? Taking care of newborns will undoubtedly affect couples’ lives.

This implies that they’ll spend less time together. In turn, tasks such as breastfeeding, bathing or changing the baby will cost sleep, making your mood worse.

The baby is the center of the mother’s attention

Mothers tend to spend 100% of their time and attention on their baby. Caring for their little ones make them feel like they’re doing their jobHowever, husbands may feel like they’re abandoning them.

Men need to look for ways to show that they love their wives. One way to do this is to understand the physical and mental effects of giving birth.

Mood swings are one of the most obvious symptoms. In these circumstances, men need to be very patient and let their wives have their way.

On the other hand, women should encourage their husbands to participate in caring for the baby. Men can also help with tasks like changing diapers or bathing.

At first, it’s common for men to struggle a little. However, with patience and tolerance, they’ll get the hang of it.

Advice for future parents

Whether the couple planned the pregnancy or not, both future parents need to be committed. Taking care of a baby requires a lot of responsibility. Don’t ever think that having a baby will fix problems in your marriage. 

How Motherhood Tests Marriage

It’s normal for mothers to take on all of the responsibilities of taking care of the babies. They might even try and do everything when they’re exhausted. That’s why you need to let your spouse or another family member help.

In addition, new fathers can feel displaced. They can also feel ignored and even think they get in the way of helping with the baby. 

However, fathers shouldn’t just watch. They should be active participants in raising their children. Fathers need to help take care of their babies to establish special bonds with them.

As for domestic tasks, it’s best to evenly distribute household chores. That way, one person doesn’t do all of the work. In addition, it will help reduce conflicts that could arise.

The process of being a brand new mom

After going through the shocking experience of giving birth, mothers will face a change in their daily routine. They need to recover after delivery and adapt to breastfeeding. They also need to decide when to go back to work, if they choose to.

There are cases where women go through postpartum depression. They’ll need psychological help, as well as their husband’s support.

Another mistake that new parents usually make is being overprotective of their babies. They’re afraid that something bad will happen to them. However, this will only make couples fight.

Quality time for couples

When the baby comes, it’s important that couples don’t forget to pay attention to each other. During the first few months, babies will almost completely absorb their parents’ attention.

Despite this, it’s important for couples to spend time together and communicate well. Talk openly about what you feel, and express your joys and fears.

Motherhood tests marriage, even in private. Taking care of babies is an exhausting and time-consuming job. Couples will have sex significantly less after the baby arrives. This can cause frustration, tension, and distance in the marriage.

How Motherhood Tests Marriage

How to help your marriage during motherhood

Some parents strongly believe that having a baby hurts marriage. If you think motherhood tests marriage, it’s better to think of this change as a time to adapt to new things. 

Here are some tips you can put into practice to face the situation:

  • Tell your partner how much you love him. Show him with actions.
  • Make sure you get rid of any insecurities he may have.
  • Talk about your sexual needs.
  • Show compassion for each other. Be patient, clear, and straight to the point when communicating.
  • Recognize what your partner does. Appreciating his efforts helps deepen your relationship.

In short, it’s true that motherhood tests marriage since it puts strain on the couple. This new stage should be another way to demonstrate love and understanding. Raising a child will bring out valuable qualities that you may have never seen before. 

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Verea, C. P. (2015). Maternidad: historia y cultura. Revista de Estudios de Género. La Ventana3(22), 35–68.
  • Sánchez, A., Espinoza, S., Ezcudia, C., & Torres, E. (2004). Nuevas maternidades o la desconstrucción de la maternidad en México. Debate Feminista, Maternidades, 55–86. Retrieved from,5#5
  • Binstock, G. (2010). Tendencias sobre la convivencia, matrimonio y maternidad en áreas urbanas de Argentina. Revista Latinoamericana de Población3(6), 129–146. Retrieved from
  • Purizaca, M. (2010). Modificaciones fisiológicas en el embarazo. Revista Peruana de Ginecología y Obstetricia56(1), 57–69.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.