How to Keep Calm When Your Baby Cries?

Staying calm when your baby cries is essential. Also, it's key not to judge yourself and ask for help if necessary. Keep reading.
How to Keep Calm When Your Baby Cries?
Elena Sanz Martín

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Elena Sanz Martín.

Last update: 24 November, 2022

An infant’s cry is a heartbreaking sound for its mother. It’s an adaptive mechanism that ensures that the primary caregivers promptly tend to the infant when they demand their attention. However, when you’ve tried everything and the crying doesn’t stop, it’s normal for frustration, despair, and discouragement to set in. Therefore, we’d like to offer you some tips to keep calm when your baby cries.

We all know that having a baby at home means having to live with crying on a frequent basis, and sometimes, that crying can be constant. We’re aware that this is the only mechanism the infant has to communicate and we’re open to dealing with it and responding to it. However, some children have a more complicated temperament or go through stages in which their restlessness prevents their parents from resting properly, so it begins to affect their health. How can you act in these cases? We’ll tell you in the following article.

The importance of keeping calm when your baby cries

We know it’s not easy to keep calm when your baby cries, but it’s essential that, as a mother, you make an extra effort to calm down in these situations. Your own emotional state has a huge influence on your baby. Remember that children aren’t yet able to regulate themselves. Thus, when they feel pain, discomfort, fear, hunger, or any other negative sensation, they need their attachment figures for support and comfort to regain their well-being.

A crying infant clinging to his mother.
Babies are extremely sensitive to the emotions of their caregivers and tend to mimic them. Therefore, if you lose your cool, it’ll be impossible to comfort and reassure your little one.

Know what to do to stay calm when your baby cries

Remember that you’re your baby’s pillar and reference figure. That’s why you must be stable to provide the care and soothing environment your baby needs. This is much easier said than done, but there are some keys that can help you.

Remember that there’s always a reason behind your baby’s tears

When nothing seems to work to soothe your baby, you may think your baby is emotionally manipulating you or just wants attention, but nothing could be further from the truth. Babies don’t have the cognitive complexity to do this, so their actions are always motivated by a real need. So, maybe they’re sleepy, hungry, or cold; maybe they’re tired and can’t sleep or feel sick. Keeping in mind that there’s a reason for their crying will help you stay calm and be more compassionate.

You’re a good mother

This is another inescapable message to always keep in mind. You’re a good mother, even if your baby won’t stop crying. It’s possible that, after several attempts to comfort them, you may start to get frustrated and feel awkward and guilty, but this will only increase your anxiety. Don’t judge yourself or be hard on yourself. Keep in mind that all mothers go through this situation at multiple times and it doesn’t have to do with their ability to fulfill their role. Babies simply cry and it’s not always easy to soothe them.

Your presence and your touch are very valuable

Don’t know what to do to soothe your child? Just be present, be there for them as close as you can. Believe it or not, your presence has a powerful comforting effect on your baby because you’re their safe place. Even if their crying continues, know that by being there, you help them feel loved and secure, which is really valuable. So, if you want to increase these positive emotions, you can perform skin-to-skin contact. To do this, you should place your baby wearing only a diaper on your bare chest. You can cover them with a blanket if necessary.

A mother and newborn baby sharing skin-to-skin contact.
Feeling the mother’s body heat and the rhythm of her breathing, as well as listening to her heartbeat, has a very beneficial effect on the baby.

Learn to relax

If you’re unable to calm your baby, you can start by trying to regulate your own anxiety. As we’ve said, this will have a direct effect on your child’s mood. So, you can play soothing music or dim lighting to set the mood. You can even practice some breathing techniques. Learning to regulate your emotions is essential in order to help your child deal with theirs.

Know your limits and respect them

Finally, it’s very normal that at some point, desperation takes over and you feel you can’t go on any longer. Don’t feel guilty–this is natural. However, learn to identify the moments when you reach your limit and ask for help. Perhaps your partner, a family member, or a close friend can take over with your baby for a few moments. This will help you both clear your heads. Don’t be afraid to delegate. You don’t need to be perfect.

In short, it’s likely that during the first years of motherhood, you’ll be faced with this type of situation on several occasions. Therefore, it’s necessary that you arm yourself with patience, understanding, and compassion toward yourself. Remember that you’re the best mother for your child. Sometimes babies need to cry to release energy. If you have ascertained that they’re okay, simply stay by their side and convey love and reassurance. This is much more valuable than you think.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Gorrita Pérez, R. R., Bárcenas Bellót, Y., Gorrita Pérez, Y., & Brito Herrera, B. (2014). Estrés y ansiedad maternos y su relación con el éxito de la lactancia materna. Revista cubana de pediatría86(2), 0-0.
  • Cerezo, M. Á., Trenado, R. M., & Pons-Salvador, G. (2006). Interacción temprana madre-hijo y factores que afectan negativamente a la parentalidad. Psicothema18(3), 544-550.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.