Why We Shouldn't Give Our Children Everything They Want
Are you constantly buying your children everything they want? Do you let them do whatever they want, whenever they want? If so, you may spoiling them too much.
Giving children everything they want has a greater impact on their development than you may think. Trying to safeguard children from experiencing frustration can lead them to become spoiled and ill-mannered.
“I want to play video games all afternoon.” “I’m not going to take a bath.” “Buy me that…” These are the type of demands that parents may give into as a way to avoid seeing tears, witnessing tantrums, or making a scene in front of others.
Some pediatricians tell parents to let children eat and sleep whenever they want, as much as they want. However, this can cause children to get used to their parents giving into their every whim.
As a result of this type of upbringing, can end up thinking they can have anything they ask for, without making an effort.
They become selfish, superficial tyrants. If you want to put a smile on your children’s face, the best thing you can do is raise them well. Help them become successful people with good values.
The risks of giving your children everything they want
If children get everything they want, then they don’t have the opportunity to experience frustration.
Frustration is an important and necessary emotion that allows them to face possible challenges in the future. Furthermore, parents become servants, constantly seeking to give their children everything their hearts desire.
These children end up believing that their parents have to obey their every demand, simply because they’re their parents.
As a result, they don’t feel the responsibility to earn anything for themselves, because they’ve never had to. They become tiny dictators who see their parents as servants who must submit to their every will.
Finally, these children will most likely become selfish, bossy, aggressive, intolerant, materialistic, superficial and without empathy. They won’t know the value of effort, nor will they want to assume responsibilities in their life.
So, when you think about it, is this really what you want for you and your children?
If you decide to spoil your children too much and give them everything they ask for, you’re not doing them any favors. You’re definitely not helping them grow or mature.
While children tend to ask for things that are easy to get, your children will quickly get older. The things they demand will only become more complex.
The dangers of giving children everything they ask for
- Intolerance. Children start to experience frustration when they don’t get what they want, especially between the ages of 2 and 4. This is an important and invaluable part of learning. If parents spoil their kids, they’ll be raising individuals that are unable to tolerate frustration. They won’t know how to handle situations that don’t go their way, or how to make an effort to get what they want. In the long run, they don’t know how to function in society.
- Depression. As children grow up, the level of their demands increase. If you don’t buy or give them what they want, they may become aggressive because they can’t control their emotions. When they reach adolescence, this will turn into depression.
- Anxiety. When children have everything, they don’t have time to use what you have. Rather, they just get lost in the heap. This can become quite overwhelming and even cause them to become anxious.
- Tantrums. When children have tantrums, you should avoid making threats. Rather, speak to them with care and don’t let your anger show. Stay calm and maintain some physical distance. Let them know you’re upset about their behavior, but not with them. Keep your cool, but allow them to see that you have feelings, and that their behavior isn’t okay.
How to avoid raising spoiled children
Stop saying yes to everything and learn to say no when your children make unnecessary demands. If they want something, show them how to earn it through age-appropriate activities.
It’s important that you be mindful of the way that you say no. Do it lovingly, but be firm. Learning to say “no” to your children when necessary will contribute greatly to their healthy development.
Be patient. If your children want something and you don’t give it to them, you can expect a tantrum. But it will pass. Stay calm and practice self-control at all times.
If you lose control, your children will have found the way to manipulate you and get their way. But if you manage to stay under control, you’ll teach your kids that tantrums won’t get them what they want.
Lastly, don’t feel bad – what you’re doing is important and will build your children’s character.
Learning to say no is much more beneficial than giving them everything they want. Your kids will thank you in the future and you’ll see how positive it was not to spoil them.