How to Overcome Rejection During Adolescence

· May 21, 2019
The feelings of rejection that some teens suffer can occur in their academic, social or family environment. It's important for parents to be attentive in order to deal with the situation in the best way possible.

How can we overcome rejection during adolescence? It’s something we all have to face at one point or another, as it can appear at any time and is often unavoidable.

A healthy conversation between parents and children will be one of the first steps in facing this problem, which affects a large percentage of the teenage population.

We are all prone to rejection

Rejection isn’t exclusive to childhood or adolescence. The authors of the Harry Potter and Twilight sagas both suffered it themselves with their first works. The difference lies in that they knew how to accept it, recognize it and face it. Today, they’re world-renowned writers with enviable careers. In fact, their works are becoming more and more popular.

However, if young people suffer in the face of rejection, they enter into a negative vicious cycle. This is true whether the rejection occurs in their social circle, in academics, or within their family.

The vicious cycle impedes them from seeing the causes that led to the rejection. Furthermore, they look down on any possible solutions that may be within their reach.

Rejection and learning

It’s important for individuals to understand that the possibility of experiencing rejection is always there. In our personal relationships, our aspirations, our surroundings, etc. If teens understand this as a learning opportunity, they can quickly overcome it. This allows them to try to then try a new path towards success.

It’s true that rejection is painful. It affects our self-esteem, the ability to make decisions and the desire to embark on new projects.

No matter how minor the rejection is, teens will always experience some sort of repercussion. However, its occurrence doesn’t mean that it will always happen, nor that the teen will be rejected by everyone.

In these cases, it’s best for teens to evaluate several factors. First, they should try to assess the reason for the rejection, as well as the consequences it can bring. They should also ask themselves how they can overcome it.

The worst thing they can do is shut themselves up in sadness and frustration. This paralysis will only wind up causing harm to those who choose it as a defense mechanism.

How to overcome rejection during adolescence

The best thing to do is recognize and accept what has happened. It’s okay for it to hurt and it’s normal to feel sad. Teens can even cry if they feel like it, but they should never blame themselves for the rejection.

The act of conversing with other people helps put their feelings into words and know that someone is listening. If we recognize that we made an effort, but that it didn’t lead to the desired results, this will help us face rejection better and more quickly. We can’t always win, but there comes a time when we must move on.

“The difference between facing and suffering rejection translates into different attitudes towards life, and these attitudes can define our futures.”

Positive attitude

A positive attitude in the face of rejection can keep us from obsessing over it. If we fall into this tendency, we’ll relive the episode over and over again. This will, in turn, cause us to be afraid of trying again. The spiral of rejection could increase.

The opposite is to put our thoughts into positive mode. This means looking for an explanation to what’s happened, as long as this doesn’t become harmful. It’s important for teens to ask themselves why things turned out a certain way, not “what I did to make things turn out that way.” 

Blaming oneself and wallowing in the rejection will only make matters worse. It increases our tendency to believe that we have good qualities and it causes us to lose hope. Trust in oneself, however, has just the opposite effect. It makes us more optimistic and motivates us to try again.

How to Overcome Rejection During Adolescence

Focusing on personal strengths

In order to face rejection, it’s important to focus on one’s virtues and positive qualities. If teens think positively, they’ll focus more on the times they experienced acceptance, rather than focusing on the rejections.

Little by little, adolescents who think positively will learn to remember those people who offered affection rather than those who offered rejection. Their efforts in trying to join other social groups won’t go unnoticed. And their efforts in obtaining acceptance at the college they want to attend will only increase.

Optimism and positive thoughts

In conclusion, being optimistic is a central part of this issue. Teens need to increase their positive thoughts and understand that life doesn’t consist only of victories.

The rest will come on its own. All teens need is maturity, resilience, effort, and challenges. This is the best way to overcome rejection during adolescence.