How Can You Heal a Parent-Child Relationship?
In today’s modern era, it’s unfortunately more and more common to see communication between parents and children become limited and even distant. That’s why we’d like to highlight ways to heal the parent-child relationship.
Find out below what the causes of disassociation can be and how you can recover one of the most important relationships there is – between a parent and child.
Parent-child relationship: causes of the rupture
Healing the parent-child relationship is one of the most commonly-addressed topics in modern psychology. A damaged family environment is the cause of failure in both interpersonal relationships and economic failure, just to mention a few.
The causes of this situation are different for every family. However, in most cases it’s due to:
Increased use of technology
Electronic devices, in some cases, have enlarged the distance between people who live in the same house.
Now it’s increasingly common to see parents in front of their devices, working at all hours. Meanwhile, children spend their time playing on their tablets. From a young age they get used to not bothering or interfering with their parents.
Everyone thinks they’re right
Some parent-child conflicts happen because each person thinks they’re right and won’t empathize. For many, explaining their point of view involves a debate, which brings with it the fear of losing that sense of security and having to be vulnerable.
This fear impedes healthy dialogue. This is where the relationship begins to break.
Fear
For many kids, the concept of intimacy brings with it mistrust and fear of their parents. These factors make it difficult to build a healthy relationship. In these cases, the children see their parents as intrusively interested in their private lives, which weakens communication even further.
For parents, there is often a fear of losing their authority and that their kids will find out about stories or things they did when they were young. They also fear that their children will find out about their fears, whether economic, occupational, or social.
Healing the parent-child relationship: practical measures
To heal the parent-child relationship, you must first learn to talk and to listen. This is learning that both parties must do so that the attempt is worth the effort and leads to positive change.
Some of the most effective measures include:
Parents
Children should know that you’re an accessible person who seeks healthy communication from the time they’re very young. To do this, start the conversation by sharing ideas that appeal to them. Avoid interrogating them. Let them know that you’re interested in their lives.
To do this, stop what you’re doing to listen to them. Avoid interrupting them and let them express themselves freely.
On the other hand, the way you react can either stimulate or stifle communication with your children. This occurs if you start an argument, if you get defensive or annoyed by the situation.
Express your opinion without scolding your children. This way you’ll create a healthy environment that fosters a close relationship. Plus, and best of all, you set a good example.
Children
Parents aren’t the only ones who need to do some work. Children also need to make an effort. Some recommendations from experts can be summarized as follows:
- Consider the consequences of a broken relationship with your parents. Your parents are the most important thing because they’ve guided you as you grow up. An angry decision can hurt you and the rest of your family.
- Keep your mind open to many options. Your parents’ experience is wisdom. Listening to them and being honest is the best way to take advantage of this.
- Remember that your parents aren’t perfect. This will help you forgive them daily, and to consider their mistakes and be patient with them.
In conclusion, healing the parent-child relationship is what modern society needs to be successful. Doing this will let you live without resentment and grudges that damage your emotional health and your physical health.
For both parties, feeling part of the family should be the most important thing at all times.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Mead, M. (2014). “La educación desde la comunicación”, Cultura y Educación, 10 (1): 17-34.
- Pacho, Z. R., & Triñanes, E. R. (2011). “Programas de entrenamiento para padres de niños con problemas de conducta: Una revisión de su eficacia”, Anales de Psicología, 37 (3-4): 223-230.
- Torío López, S. (2004). “Familia, escuela y sociedad”, Aula Abierta, 83: 35-52.
- Bowlby, J. (1986). Vínculos afectivos: formación, desarrollo y pérdida. Madrid: Morata.
- Bowlby, J. (1995). Teoría del apego. Lebovici, Weil-HalpernF.
- Garrido-Rojas, L. (2006). Apego, emoción y regulación emocional. Implicaciones para la salud. Revista latinoamericana de psicología, 38(3), 493-507. https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/805/80538304.pdf
- Marrone, M., Diamond, N., Juri, L., & Bleichmar, H. (2001). La teoría del apego: un enfoque actual. Madrid: Psimática.
- Moneta, M. (2003). El Apego. Aspectos clínicos y psicobiológicos de la díada madre-hijo. Santiago: Cuatro Vientos.