5 Keys to Talk to an Angry Child

It is very common for children to get angry when they don't receive what they ask for or have to accept a "no" answer. In these cases, the most important thing is that you use some tips to stop tantrums.
5 Keys to Talk to an Angry Child

Last update: 11 July, 2018

Anger is a typical reaction of all people when they fail to achieve a goal. In the case of children, these episodes of anger are constant and can be due to all kinds of situations. Therefore, we’re going to give you the keys to talk to an angry child.

As a mother, you may suffer when you see your child angry. However, it’s important to know that it’s a normal reaction that you need to learn from. You must detect the source of the conflict so that it can be a lesson for the next time your child becomes upset about something.

5 Keys to Talk to an Angry Child

These are some tips that will allow you to talk with an angry child. In these cases, we recommend you stay calm and be patient. You’ll surely get through to them!

1. Never Lose Your Cool

The first tip to talking to an angry child is to not lose your temper. In these cases, the best thing you can do is sit by their side and wait for the fury to pass completely.

In addition to kicking and screaming, your child may also use dangerous gestures to get his point across. If you’re also frustrated, then you’d better take your time to regain control and then come back. If you keep calm, you’ll get the child to calm down.

2. Help Your Child Relax

If you can help your child realize that he must learn to calm down, he’ll have fewer temper tantrums. Certainly, relaxing his body  is a very useful tool to overcome physical difficulties  such as stress, chronic impatience or tantrums.

You can show the child simple tips that will help him control his anger. There are basic techniques of relaxation, breathing, concentration or ways of venting. Using these methods will allow you to get past the negative emotions.
5 Keys to Talk to an Angry Child

3. Try to Prevent Anger

We recommend you pay attention to situations that frustrate your child and plan the consequences. If, for example, your child breaks into tears when he’s thirsty, you should always bring a bottle of water with you to quench his thirst.

On the contrary, if you perceive that it is a whim, you should try to distract him. You can change places, give him a toy or do something he doesn’t expect, in order to make him forget what he wanted.

“A child can teach three things to an adult: to be happy for no reason, to be always occupied with something and to know how to demand with all his strength what he wants”
–Paulo Coelho–

4. Use the Correct Tone

A child who doesn’t receive clear information will have a hard time actually listening to what is being said. Since children are interested in everything that happens around them, they’re quickly distracted. Hence the need to repeat things often several times before they take them into consideration.

If you use the right tone when speaking, it can be effective only when the child knows his limits. If this isn’t the case, it’s important that you learn to be firmer. Otherwise, you run the risk of losing control and authority.

5. Teach Children to Express Their Frustration with Words

When children are upset, they sometimes tend to hit or throw objects. In these cases, you must make it clear that you won’t accept any act of violence on your part. If they persist, make them understand that their actions will have consequences.

If the child knows he can get what he wants through any aggressive gesture, he can maintain this attitude on a regular basis. Therefore, it’s necessary that you teach him to express his frustration with words.

5 Keys to Talk to an Angry Child

6. Don’t Give In

The last tip to talk to an angry child is to not give in. No matter how long the anger lasts, the important thing is not to give in to his irrational requests or try to negotiate with the child when he screams. This is true even if you’re in a public place and you want to stop his crying at all costs.

If you give in, you will teach him that this is the right way to get what he wants. It also makes the child feel that he has control.

In short, you must bear in mind that the above advice is intended to calm children when they are upset in a proactive and positive way, without the need to apply any type of punishment. With them, you can finally end their tantrums!

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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.