My Child Has Trouble Making Friends

Children may have trouble making friends for different reasons. To help them socialize, you need to understand the cause of the problem in order to find a solution.
My Child Has Trouble Making Friends

Last update: 26 June, 2019

Friendship is important in all stages of life. However, having a healthy and active social life from childhood will help improve self-esteem. If you notice that your child is having trouble making friends, keep reading.

It’s important for kids to understand the meaning and importance of friendship. The foundations of a healthy friendship is:

  • Loving one another.
  • Reciprocity and mutual support. Knowing that the other person feels the same way, and that the friendship is unconditional.
  • Trust and sincerity. You can tell everything that worries each other without judging. In addition, you have the confidence to give your honest opinion.
  • Mutual interest and concern. This helps people communicate, spend time together and learn about each other.

Before trying to help your children make friends, it’s important to know why they’re having problems. In this article, we’ll show you some of the possible issues.

My Child Has Trouble Making Friends

Why does my child have trouble making friends?


The ability to make friends gets better as kids grow. This happens around 4 or 5 years old. However, every child will find his own rhythm, and this may also depend on other factors.

Personality traits: one of the possible reasons why your child has trouble making friends

Introverted children tend to go off by themselvesIn fact, the noise and crowd might overwhelm them. On the other hand, shy kids (or kids with low self-esteem) might be insecure, waiting for someone else to make the first move. It’ll be hard for them to express what they want and let themselves go.

Behavior problems

Aggressive, wild and unpredictable kids can have trouble making friends. Other children might feel uncomfortable around them and won’t want to play with them.

Physical difficulties (speaking, hearing, mobility, etc.)

These types of difficulties can make it hard for children to communicate with others. In fact, kids who don’t understand these issues might think they’re different. Therefore, they might not know how to interact with them. In the same way, your child might not feel understood. Then, it might be hard to make good friends.

Problems with hyperactivity or attention

These kids might look disruptive. In addition, they might look like they aren’t interested in other children. Therefore, they might feel rejected by their peers, and even other adults.

Gifted children

Some kids with above-average cognitive abilities might feel like they don’t fit in with their peers. They have trouble making friends who have the same interests. Therefore, they might feel out of place, misunderstood, and even rejected.

Kids that suffer from bullying

Bullied kids tend to have low self-esteem from being mistreated. It’ll be hard for them to trust others. In addition, they might not want to go up to new kids because they’re scared of being bullied.

My child has trouble making friends, how can I help?

Kids learn to socialize and the value of friendship through their parents. In fact, you’re the best example they have. You need to listen to them and understand their needs, how they feel and how they act with other kids.

Some tips to help children overcome their difficulty making friends are:

  • Share your social situations with friends. That is, let your children learn social skills through your experiences. Make sure there are other kids their age that they can play with.
My Child Has Trouble Making Friends
  • Talk about the meaning of friendship. Make your children understand that not everyone is a good friend, and they might feel disappointment. Then, explain that not all friends last forever, but there are some that do. Everything depends on personal circumstances and the types of friends they make.
  • Ask your children about the kids they know and what kinds of relationship they have with them. In addition, show that you’re interested in what they think about others and how they feel with his peers. It helps them learn to communicate, and promotes security and empathy.
  • Look for extracurricular activities they’re interested in. Also, take your children to meetings where there are other children that like the same things. This way, it will be easier for them to feel integrated and encouraged to go to more social events to make friends.
  • Help your children solve problems that arise in their relationships. However, don’t actually intervene unless completely necessary. Teach them tools to solve problems on their own. This way, their self-esteem will increase and they’ll feel more independent.
  • If someone is bullying your child, tell the school and take appropriate action.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Villarreal González E, Sánchez Sosa JC, Musito Ochoa G. (2010). Cómo mejorar habilidades sociales. Universidad Autónoma de Nuevo León, México.
  • Ruiz Lázaro, PJ. (1998). Promoviendo la adaptación saludable de nuestros adolescentes. Ministerio de Sanidad y Consumo, España.
  • Gallego Ortega, JL. (1994). Educación Infantil. Ed: Aljibe.
  • Parets Luque C. (2014). Mi lado de la bufanda. Ed: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.