The Fear of Not Getting Good Grades in Children

January 11, 2020
The fear of not getting good grades is a fear that comes from a lack of confidence in children. It comes from the fact that they feel pressured to be the best in their class.

The fear of not getting good grades is something that many children experience, and at a younger and younger age. This fear often comes from a lack of confidence in their own abilities – an issue they shouldn’t have to deal with at such an early age.

Some children think and believe that they really aren’t capable of getting good grades. Some are afraid of failing, no matter how hard they try. This may have to do with the fact that they feel like they need to the best in their class.

Some children think that if they don’t pass, or if they’re not at the top of their class, then they’re letting their parents down. They may seek perfection in their grades and refuse to settle for a simple decent grade in order not to disappoint mom and dad.

For this reason, when you see a bad grade, don’t think your child’s going to do poorly or that his or her future is doomed. You’ll only pass this type of thinking onto your children, who will take on this fear of not getting good grades. Perhaps you should worry more about what they’re learning at school and not so much about their actual grades.

Is your child afraid of not getting good grades?

Every day, more and more children experience the fear of not getting good grades or failing their exams. Does your child consider himself or herself better or worse depending on grades? Why? Where is this coming from? When do children learn to value themselves based on their grades? Today we’ll help you find the answers.

If children are afraid of not getting good grades, then they likely have parents who pressure them to do well. In one way or another, their parents teach them that they have to be the best in order to be successful adults with a good future.

The Fear of Not Getting Good Grades in Children

By doing so, when children fail or get a bad or even average grade, they become very anxious. They feel like they have to do something to fix it or they’ll continue to fail or get poor grades… And that an undesirable and uncertain future awaits them. Some children even feel like they’ll fail at life altogether.

When that’s the case, it’s important for parents to identify if they’re putting too much emphasis on how important their kid’s grades are to them. Letting up will lower the pressure they feel about letting their parents down and the need to excel and stand out in everything.

These children know that if they get good grades, they’ll receive approval and perhaps even recognition and material rewards. But if they fail or get less than stellar grades, they’ll get criticism and even punishment. Keep in mind that the effort that children make to prepare for a big exam is more important than the actual grade they get.

What happens when children are afraid of not getting good grades?

It’s important to remember that putting so much pressure on children can cause them to be afraid: Afraid of failing… afraid of not getting perfect grades… afraid of the consequences of not getting good grades… afraid of letting you down, of punishment, of criticism, of comparisons, etc.

This pressure and fear produce feelings of anxiety. These kids worry more about getting good grades than they do about what they actually learn. And this pressure also causes children to have self-esteem issues, as they feel insecure about themselves and their abilities. Having self-esteem issues at such an early age can have serious consequences for their adult life. 

Your job as a parent is to reflect on the issue and ask yourself if you’re the reason that your child’s so afraid of not getting good grades or failing.

Are you putting too much pressure on your kids? Are you rewarding them for their efforts even though they don’t get straight A’s? Or do you punish them when they don’t meet your expectations? Are you teaching them to learn, or just to be better than everyone else?

The Fear of Not Getting Good Grades in Children

Useful tips

No one needs to tell you that being a mother is a difficult task – you’re already well aware. Therefore, if you’re prone to pressure your kids about their grades, it’s no doubt because you want what’s best for them. You’re doing the best you can. But it’s time to change your perspective.

Remember that your child’s well-being and future success depends on much more than good grades. If a child gets straight A’s but doesn’t have time for friends and having fun, then those grades won’t guarantee a happy and successful future.

From now on, if your children get lower grades or fail a test, avoid giving them a hard time or giving in to your fears. Rather, sit down with them and try to figure out why it happened and what they can do differently next time. Demonstrate unconditional support so your children know they can always count on you.