The Advantages of Having Positive Discussion with Your Child

Discussing things with children doesn't have to end up getting into conflicts, confronting them, or scolding them. On the contrary, positive discussions with children can be very good.
The Advantages of Having Positive Discussion with Your Child

Last update: 11 September, 2020

The word discussion often has a negative conception for many people. This is especially the case when thinking about talking with their children. And, in many homes, parents avoid discussing things with their children, thinking that, in this way, they’ll avoid confrontations and conflicts with them. However, there are many advantages to positive discussion with children.

As long as this discussion involves a dialogue and exchange of ideas, and not an opportunity to verbally attack or hurt the other person, then they can be very beneficial.

The positive meaning of discussion

A discussion between two or more people is when they talk about or examine some topic or issue between them. For this purpose, the people involved use arguments and reasoning to explain or justify their positions, opinions or ideas regarding the topic in question.

People quite often discuss things just to exchange opinions. However, in many cases, the objective of a discussion is to be able to solve a problem and reach an agreement on it.

Therefore, in any context, and especially in a family environment, solving disagreements through positive discussion is very beneficial. It’s a way of building relationships and understanding each other better.

Having a discussion or disagreement with someone, whether it’s a co-worker, friend, or relative, doesn’t have to be something negative. On the contrary, discussion should be natural. It’s a way of strengthening relationships with other people and moving forward. There’s a chance to grow and learn about oneself and those close to us.

However, for a discussion to have a positive effect, it’s important to learn how to discuss things positively. The discussion should meet certain requirements, as regards to the forms, styles, and characteristics that the discussion should adopt.

The Advantages of Having Positive Discussion with Your Child

Characteristics of a positive discussion

  • Both parties should be willing to discuss and agree on an issue. This means accepting that people are different and, therefore, have different opinions and ways of thinking. So, the people involved in a discussion must be willing to respect each other, to speak calmly, and to use appropriate words. They shouldn’t attack or insult each other, nor raise their voices.
  • If the discussion is about several topics, or if the topic has several facets to it, then it’s best to deal with one topic or point at a time. In these cases, it’s very helpful to agree to proceed this way. You shouldn’t move on to another point or topic until an agreement or solution is reached on the previous one.
  • Find a suitable place for a discussion. This means finding a place to talk quietly and away from noise and interruptions. It may even be a good option to agree on a time and place to meet with someone in order to discuss the topic in question.
  • Focus on the main topic to be discussed. It’s important that both parties try to “get to the point.” Therefore, the people involved in the discussion should try to be direct and avoid (maybe out of embarrassment) going off on a tangent. In addition, when people are discussing in this way, they should try to be as honest as possible, both with their ideas and in their feelings and emotions.

“The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.”

– Joseph Joubert –

The Advantages of Having Positive Discussion with Your Child

Advantages of discussing positively with children

Ensuring that positive discussion with children is part of their education is very important. This is because, as our children grow, it’s inevitable that there’ll be conflicts. However, if we approach them positively then it’ll be a natural way of speaking and dealing with issues. So, to summarize, the advantages of discussing things positively with your children include:

  • Getting to know them better. Talking over and discussing things with your children is a way to get to know how they’re feeling and what they’re thinking. It’s vitally important to be aware of what their needs are on a regular basis. In this way, we can avoid arguments or major conflicts about a problem that could have been avoided if it had been discussed or talked about in the first place.
  • Achieving a better harmony and family atmosphere. Dialoguing, talking, negotiating and discussing things with children about any topic – either important ones or normal day-to-day occurrences – improves the mood of the whole family. It isn’t good to store up negative opinions about other people’s attitudes or behavior that we don’t like. In the long run, everything ends up coming out. And, when things are said in the heat of the moment, these thoughts come out in the worst possible way. And, almost always, we end up hurting those we love.
  • Show them affection. Having positive discussions with our children can be a way to show them our affection as parents. Having a discussion is a good way to get children to open up and share their fears, concerns, desires, and dreams. For parents, having a calm and pleasant discussion with their children is a way of saying to them: “We’re here for you, unconditionally, and for whatever you need.”


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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.