What Can Parents Do When Children Fight All the Time?
When children fight all the time, keep in mind that this is often a way to assert their identity. Generally, they’re also trying to get your attention and put your limits to the test.
It’s normal when children fight, especially if they spend a lot of time together and have to share not only their toys, but also their parents’ attention.
Parents should set limits and establish at what point their children’s fights should end. Why is it important to set limits? So these habits don’t continue into adulthood.
Generally, fights between siblings usually appear between the ages of five and six years old. They fight and become mad for many reasons. Either they’re jealous or it’s hard for them to share.
But as they grow up, the reasons for arguments change. They usually keep fighting to get extra attention from their parents.
What can you do to prevent your children from arguing all the time?
Don’t look for the cause
It’s important for you to observe yourself as much as you do your children. This can give you many clues about mistakes you’re making and allow you to see that things aren’t black or white.
There isn’t a good child or a bad child. Sometimes, one child starts the fight. In another case, the other child starts it.
Avoid getting into the reason for the fight or who started it. This way you don’t form part of the discussion.
Separate them when they pass the limit
When they start to scream, hit each other, or insult each other, is when you enter the scene. Tell them that they have to agree not to fight.
You don’t want to know what happened, and you’re going to separate them for a little bit. Why? Because they’ve demonstrated that they don’t know how to be together.
Separation time will depend on your children’s age. With younger children, 5 minutes should be enough time. When the time has passed, allow them to play together again. This gives them the opportunity to show that they can be together and behave well.
When your children fight, should you punish them?
If you observe your children’s behavior and their motive, you’ll realize that in reality, your children are looking for your attention. Although this is the wrong way to get it, they want you to stop what you’re doing and give them extra attention.
In these cases, the best thing you can do is put an end to this behavior through positive reinforcement. This means acknowledging their good behavior, not with material things, but with your attention as the mother or father.
You have to learn to reinforce your children’s positive behavior – for example, when they don’t fight. You should be with them and reward them each time they play peacefully, share their things, and behave well.
It’s very important for your children to have a good relationship with each other to promote a calm and harmonious family environment. The best thing you can do is encourage peace in the most assertive and loving manner.It might interest you...
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- Centro de Apoyo a las Familias (2018) Celos y rivalidades entre hermanos. Madrid, 6 págs http://labmadrid.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Material-celos-padres.pdf