Why Shouting at Children is Not Good Parenting
Shouting at children is not the way to raise a family. In this article, we’ll see why.
It has happened to every parent at one time or another: a child misbehaves, and we lose control. Our first instinct is to raise our voices. We scream, shout, or yell.
The fact is, we’re human, and we aren’t perfect. Our emotions can cause us to overreact. Even loving parents can make this mistake.
In some cases, shouting at children can lead to negative consequences for everyone involved.
Constant shouting around the home may be caused by the upbringing that the parents received.
If your parents shouted at you, you’re more likely to shout at your own children.
Is shouting the way to raise your children?
The answer is no. There are some parents who don’t think twice before shouting at children.
Many even do it in public, with no consideration of the consequences for the little one on the receiving end.
Many parents shout at their child occasionally, if they’re in a bad mood or have had a hard day. But for some families, shouting at children is an integral part of their upbringing.
We inherit a lot from our own parents, including much of our childrearing style.
Bad parenting can leave a lifelong mark. The frustration is passed down from one generation to the next.
Consequences of shouting at children
Child development professionals have found that it isn’t necessary to resort to shouting to exert your authority as a parent.
Educators and psychologists agree that humiliating, insulting or shouting at children doesn’t lead to good behavior.
Resorting to physical violence, of course, is even worse.
Some of the consequences of shouting at children include:
- They get used to it. Sooner or later, raising your voice will have no effect at all. Rather than authoritative, you’ll look harsh.
- Constant yelling can wear down your children’s self-esteem and make them feel unloved. Strict, old-fashioned childrearing can, in fact, be counterproductive. Children subjected to shouting become rebellious and argumentative.
- Children will generally reflect their parents. Seeing you behave aggressively will impact the way they think and act. They may pick up these bad habits when they’re older.
- The child will grow up in a stressful environment, which can impact their development in many ways.
Why we should stop shouting at children
- Shouting may fall upon deaf ears. That is to say, children automatically ignore a lot of what we’re trying to say to them when we yell.
- Your child won’t pay attention to what you say, let alone apply it. Children learn by interacting, not by listening to a tirade.
- We’re role models for our children. Their behavior will vary depending on how we treat them. If we lose control and shout at children, we’re teaching them that it’s ok to lash out in anger.
- If we exercise self-control, we can help our children remain calm. They’ll learn how to respond appropriately to upsetting situations.
- Shouting at children isn’t just frightening, it leads to feelings of impotence and rage. Whether or not they mean to, this is what parents do when they raise their voices.
- Shouting isn’t an effective way of educating children. We know that respect must be mutual. Obedience comes with patience. Learning lessons takes time and effort.
- When parents shout all the time, they lose authority and respect. Shouting harms efforts to communicate as a family, leading to colder, more distant relationships.
The only logical response is to stop and reflect: am I shouting at my children? Good parenting requires a change in attitude.
Choose different ways to express yourself. Experience will show which method is most effective.
The healthiest thing to do is to stop shouting at children. When we’re angry about something, we must control our reaction.
Whatever the situation, shouting is most likely not a suitable way to respond.
As parents, we must learn to stop when we feel ourselves shouting. Be aware of your emotions and learn to control yourself when you’re getting angry.
This is something we can achieve by making an effort. Good parenting means being in control of yourself at all times.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Ballenato, G. (2007). Educar sin gritar: Padres e hijos:¿ convivencia o supervivencia?. La Esfera de los Libros.
- Ferrari, J. (2013). Educar sin violencia. Argentina: Editorial DUNKEN. https://serpadre.eu/_files/200000047-1c6451d5fa/EDUCAR%20SIN%20VIOLENCIA%20PB.docx
- Prieto, G. B. (2008). Hacia una educación de calidad. Revista Iberoamericana de Educación, 45(6), 3. http://www.cop.es/colegiados/m-13106/images/Art%EDculoEducaci%F3nCalidad.pdf
- Coll, P. C. (2012). Educar sin gritos. Escuela en acción. Infantil, (10653), 32-33. https://dialnet.unirioja.es/servlet/articulo?codigo=4084482