Don't Wait Until Your Children Grow Up to Take Care of Yourself
It is common for mothers to put aside their own worries and concerns as they adapt to the challenges of bringing up their children. But it’s so important to take care of yourself as your children are growing up.
Whether because of cultural traditions or because we don’t know any better, we often think that we must suppress our own concerns and put off our self-realization while our children are still dependent on us.
However, this could not be further from the truth. Taking care of ourselves and giving ourselves time to switch off is one of the best examples that we can give to our sons and daughters.
If we make time for ourselves, we will be educating by example, not only with words. In this way, our children will internalize self-love and self-care as something normal, which does not have to generate costs or conflicts.
Similarly, by doing this we avoid becoming emotionally dependent on our children, and creating dependency in them. This way, they will learn both to give and receive, not only with others, but also in their relationship with themselves.
Take care of yourself and your children
If you wait until your children are older to take care of yourself, you will be depriving them of an important lesson: how to love themselves. Our children need to understand the value and importance of self-love as something indispensable to all of us.
This means that we need to heal that little part of ourselves that says that we are worthless as women if we are not sacrificing ourselves for our families. A mother heals as a woman when she starts to ignore the role of martyrdom that society imposes upon her.
Being a woman does not mean putting up with whatever life throws at us, bending our own emotional boundaries or taking on any burden, no matter how large. A mother who is a healthy woman recognizes her own value in the world as an individual, and knows her own needs.
What’s more, a mother who takes care of herself, setting aside time to take care of her inner and outer wellbeing, will raise children who are better able to take care of themselves, work towards their aspirations and achieve balance in their lives.
Mom, take care of yourself, it’s good for me too
As we have said, it is important for mothers to take care of themselves every day and not set aside their individual identity. It is easy to forget this, or relegate it to the lowest priority. But it is essential if we are to ensure the best education for our children. Let’s take a look at some tips for day-to-day self-care.
Set time aside every day
Arrange a time every day for you to breathe, ask yourself how you feel, heal your wounds and calm yourself. A few minutes in bed, on the couch or the patio to think about yourself and how the day’s events have made you feel will help you to compose yourself and manage your emotions better.
This benefits your children directly. Not only will you be calmer and more coherent, they will also see in you an example of the first premise of self-care: dedicate time to understanding yourself.
Choose moments every week and month to love yourself
Similarly, you should set aside one or more moments every week to exercise, read, go out with friends, or whatever you feel like. That is, organize your time so that you can do all those things that you normally don’t get time for, or that you often put off until later.
Work to make time for positive activities that allow you to relax and work on yourself. This time is especially for you, to have fun and get to know yourself. Giving ourselves this freedom makes us feel fulfilled, alive and happy.
Build your self-esteem
We have a tendency to set our self-esteem adrift like a little paper boat on the ocean. When seas are stormy, this fragile little craft can take on water and sink. In the shipwreck, it is our self-love that suffers.
- Take the emotional baggage out of your life. Every non-constructive comment or action is insignificant. You are interested in building, not destroying.
- Apply the same principle to the negative thoughts and feelings that you have towards yourself and your surroundings. Writing these thoughts down and then ripping them up is a good way to release ourselves from them.
- Write a list of everything positive in your life, and read through it every time you need to.
- Make a list of everything that you like to do, and all the things that you want to explore. Then put it into practice.
Remember that the best way to foster our children’s education and development is to teach them by example. Let’s not forget that everything that is good for us is also good for our children, in the short term and the long term.
It’s a simple idea: we function better when we feel better.