Attachment Parenting: Being Prepared for the Challenges

Attachment Parenting: Being Prepared for the Challenges

Last update: 21 March, 2018

Although attachment parenting is nothing new, the concept has become popular in recent years.

Parents who choose to consciously carry out this parenting technique often face great criticism from those around them.

This is because western societies, like ours, value productivity and independence above all else. 

Choosing to raise your children according to attachment theory means sacrificing your own independence to meet the natural (and normal) demands of your baby.

Difficulties of attachment parenting

We live in a competitive society where possessions and appearances are more important than happiness. When you choose attachment parenting, you choose to break away from this skewed value system.

We applaud you for your decision, but we also want to give you a heads up on some of the difficulties you’re likely to face in the future:

Strict hospital protocols

First of all, do some research on the hospital where you plan on having your baby. Ask especially about the support they provide for breastfeeding.

It’s important that they respect your desire to be given your baby as soon as he is born. 

Furthermore, the hospital should allow you to sleep in the same room as your baby. The medical staff should never give your baby formula without your consent.

In other words, the hospital shouldn’t decide these things for you.

Short maternity leaves

Many mothers decide to leave work in order to stay home with their children. However, more and more mothers must return to the working world in order to support their families. 

Unfortunately, there are many obstacles that don’t allow us to balance our time the way we would like.

Attachment Parenting: Being Prepared for the Challenges

Leaving your child in someone else’s care is a very difficult decision to make. But sometimes it’s the only option we have.

Keep in mind that your child will also feel the separation. When you get home, don’t rush straight to the kitchen or the laundry room. Dedicate this time to your child to compensate for your time apart.

Loss of confidence in your own abilities

You’re likely to hear a lot of negative feedback about how you’re raising your child: You don’t have enough milk. You’re holding your baby too much. Your baby cries because he’s spoiled. If you keep letting your baby sleep with you, she’ll never be independent. 

Friends, family, and strangers are all prone to express their own opinions on what you should be doing differently. At times, these comments may make you lose confidence in yourself and your decisions .

But think about it! Do human beings really need formula, bottles, pacifiers, bouncy seats and playpens to survive? Or were these objects simply created to replace the one thing babies really do need: Their mother?
If you’re having difficulties, look for information. Seek help if you need it. Follow your maternal instincts and you’ll likely find the best solution to whatever is bothering your little one.

Your own doubts and insecurities

Even when you obey your maternal instincts and maintain your self-confidence, we’re all prone to have doubts.

After all, being a mother isn’t easy. It’s a huge responsibility, so it’s normal if you wonder if you’re doing things right. 

Those same doubts will help you evaluate yourself and try to improve certain areas.

“Nobody’s perfect. Parenthood is a school where the learning never ends”

Social disapproval regarding your child-raising methods

Even with the best of intentions, outside opinions can be quite overwhelming. Friends and family often saturate new mothers with information and suggestions that end up lowering their self-confidence.

Don’t pay too much attention to all of those voices. Focus on getting to know your child and learn to decode her signs and signals.

People might tell you that your parenting techniques will make your child weak. But the truth is that attachment parenting gives your child the emotional security to be an independent adult. You’re raising a child with a healthy self-esteem.

Attachment Parenting: Being Prepared for the Challenges

Wounds from your childhood

Depending on your own personal childhood, parenting may bring up past wounds that are very hard to face. Becoming a mother gives you a unique opportunity to discover yourself and explore your inner child. 

Heal your wounds, forgive, and move on. When you raise your child with respect and understanding, you also give your inner child permission to be accepted, respected and understood.

“When choosing the path of respect and non-violence towards your child, you’re choosing the much needed change in our society”

Don’t forget that being a parent is a daily learning experience and that we all make mistakes.

Attachment parenting is parenting with love. And nothing that is done with love and self-sacrifice could ever be wrong.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Barudy, J., & Dantagnan, M. (2005). Los buenos tratos a la infancia: Parentalidad, apego y resiliencia. Editorial Gedisa.
  • Garrido-Rojas, L. (2006). Apego, emoción y regulación emocional. Implicaciones para la salud. Revista latinoamericana de psicología, 38(3), 493-507.
  • Marrone, M., Diamond, N., Juri, L., & Bleichmar, H. (2001). La teoría del apego: un enfoque actual. Madrid: Psimática.
  • Mosquera D, Gonzalez, A (2009) Escala de Apego y Patrones Relacionales.
  • Mosquera, D., & González, A. (2013). Del apego temprano a los síntomas del trastorno límite de personalidad. Revista Digital de Medicina Psicosomática y Psicoterapia, 3(3), 1-33.
  • Shaffer, D. R., & del Barrio Martínez, C. (2002). Desarrollo social y de la personalidad. Madrid: Thomson.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.