Don't Be Afraid To Say No To Your Child

Don't Be Afraid To Say No To Your Child

Last update: 16 October, 2017

Sometimes it is necessary to say no to your children; especially when they want to do something that is not in their best interest. Parents should be on the lookout when their child wants to do something dangerous or harmful and decide whether or not to give in to their will.

Learning to say “no” early on can prevent your child from having many bad experiences. A balanced attitude is required in order to say no the right way. Being balanced will prevent you from developing a tyrannical parenting style. It also helps you practice a healthy form of authority that is efficient and foments family happiness.

Learning to say no to your children, especially when what they want isn’t what they need, will help you moderate your authority. Saying no serves the purpose of correcting certain types of behavior. It also helps us to educate and teach them about values. Despite sounding contradictory, with time you will come to realize  that saying “no” to your child actually helps them become happier.

“A good parent disciples those that they love” — Biblical proverb

A child that has clear and well defined boundaries lives a lot happier than a child that tries to sway their parents through manipulation. Even though at times it seems ridiculous to us, children can be more industrious emotionally than adults. They know exactly how to behave in order to alter their parents’ emotions. This of course helps them achieve what they want. You can deal with this behavior by simply saying no.

Learn to say no, leave fear behind

In order to leave behind the fear of saying no to our children we must prepare ourselves. We must make it clear in our minds that our only objective is to help our child. Even though in the short term it doesn’t seem like it, it is always important to have that in mind. This will help you when its comes time to say no.

Saying no, with a straight face, without feeling bad and with the necessary firmness can be tough, but it is possible. Doing it only requires patience and resolve. A lot of children feel frustrated, bothered and even get angry with their parents when they are told not to do something. It’s a completely natural reaction; we all get frustrated when we are told not to do something we want to.

In the beginning they will cry because you refuse to allow them do as they wish. Sometimes they will go to great lengths to achieve what they want. They might shout, cry, throw, hit and insult. It is in these moments that you should showcase your maturity by not allowing yourself to be manipulated.

Due to some uncomfortable instances such as these mentioned above, it is not only tough to say no to your child, but even tougher to maintain the no. Especially after the child starts behaving in such a manner.

Many parents feel cruel when they leave their child to cry by not giving in. However, giving in demonstrates to your child that if they cry or make a scene, mom or dad will end up giving in. Giving in is a common mistake parents make that can have harmful effects.

Mom says no to her child

Don’t be afraid of your child’s tantrums

When parents are firm and let go of the fear of telling their children no, it demonstrates to the child that emotional blackmail and bad behavior are not the best ways to obtain what they want.

Parents must understand that if you teach them that they can get whatever they want immediately, you are setting them up for failure in the long run. When the child becomes an adult they will realize things don’t work that way. They have to put in effort to obtain what they want.

Therefore, being firm is a virtue that you should cultivate as a parent. Don’t be afraid of confronting your child. Sometimes when a child cries and makes a scene, they are only testing your limits. Try to have your emotions contained and balanced. If you show indifference to this behavior the child will begin to calm down.

Maintaining your calm is a golden rule when it comes to raising children. Sometimes it is difficult, but calmness is another virtue that parents should cultivate. It is important that when you say no to a child it is done with calmness. You should never show anger or get worked up.

We must prepare our children to be resilient, to be able to tolerate frustration and delayed gratification. This is why it is so important to say no when necessary.

Have in mind that whenever you say “no” it helps your child grow. Practice will make you a master, little by little. You will find out the best way to handle these situations, saying no to your children when it is for their own good.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.