7 Frequent Mistakes When Raising Children

7 Frequent Mistakes When Raising Children

Last update: 14 January, 2019

Avoiding the most frequent mistakes when raising children can help you become a better parent.

Many parents experience insecurity and anguish when it comes to raising their children. This is because they’re not sure how to give them the best guidance and discipline.

The most frequently asked questions include: How do I get my child to listen to me? Am I too strict, too authoritarian or too soft?

Frequent mistakes when raising children

It can be useful to know the mistakes that you shouldn’t make when it comes to raising your children. These precautions will prevent you from causing emotional wounds. Remember, your children cannot grow without a guide or role model to follow.

1. Disparity in authority

One of the big mistakes in parenting occurs when parents don’t share the same criteria for their child. If children receive contradictory messages, they don’t know who to obey. As a result, they’ll feel disoriented, without clear references.

If you and your partner don’t have a clear or unified message yet, it’s best to say something like, “We’ll talk later and then give you an answer.” This also helps convey that the family represents a solid and reliable unit.

2. Lack of continuity

Parents shouldn’t let moods influence how they discipline their children. In other words, you shouldn’t allow your child to behave a certain way depending on whether you feel happy, angry or tired.

If this happens, children receive a confusing message. Parents should keep in mind that raising children requires them to remain fair and rational at all times.

7 Frequent Mistakes When Raising Children

3. Using derogatory phrases toward children

Unfortunately, it’s very common to see parents talking to their children with disrespect. For example, they may use expressions like, “I knew you were going to break that,” or “You always disappoint me.”

Adults should try to maintain their role and control their attitude, even if the child provokes them.

4. Unfulfilled promises

Many children feel discouraged and disappointed if parents say they’ll earn gifts or prizes and then don’t uphold their end of the agreement. For example, parents may use rewards to encourage children to fulfill their school obligations, do all their chores or simply behave well.

But when the child achieves the goal, the parent doesn’t give the promised reward. Adults must remain realistic when offering rewards and, of course, fulfill their promises.

5. Not establishing clear limits

One frequent mistake when raising children involves not having clear guidelines for them. Therefore, parents don’t have consistent criteria or established limits.

When children are small, it’s easier to solve the difficulties they present. However, control and authority are lost in adolescence.

This makes it more difficult for them to comply with established guidelines. Set concrete rules that are possible to follow.

“When it comes to discipline, parents shouldn’t be influenced by their moods.”

6. Being friends with their children

It’s a mistake to treat children as friends, since the role of the parent must be fulfilled. Children need that authority figure of the parent. Of course, the parent should always operate in a framework of fair treatment and reciprocal trust.

7. Setting bad examples

In general, parents ask their children not to do bad things. However, children may see their parents doing these “bad” things.

Inconsistencies are harmful and adversely affect children. Setting a bad example also reduces the legitimacy of the parent’s authority and reduces moral strength.

7 Frequent Mistakes When Raising Children

Suggestions for raising children

Finally, we’ll present you with some ideas you can put into practice so that you don’t make the frequent mistakes when raising children that we’ve mentioned above.

  • Set clear and reasonable limits.
  • Children require structure, order and fixed rules.
  • Allow children to experience the consequences of their actions, since this facilitates their autonomy and independence.
  • Give them chores according to their age.
  • Don’t allow undesirable behaviors that generate bad behavior in the long run.

In short, frequent mistakes when raising children can lead to bad behaviors that continue into adulthood. By identifying these common mistakes, you can avoid them and help provide your children with a better upbringing.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.