How to Be a Calm Parent

A calm parent is a reassuring parent. Your children need patience to grow and feel emotionally stable. Learn more in this article.
How to Be a Calm Parent

Last update: 22 February, 2021

It’s normal for parents to get angry and to feel frustrated. These are universal human emotions, but that doesn’t mean you have to be trapped by negative feelings. You don’t have to feel bad every day and your children shouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of your emotional distress. As an adult, you have a lot of obligations, but it’s still your duty to be a calm parent. 

You have the power to be a calm parent

As an adult, you have the power to control yourself. You’re able to keep your negative or intense emotions from taking over you. Parenthood isn’t easy, but you can’t let it affect your mood. Even when you’re second-guessing your abilities as a parent, you have to make sure you’re staying calm.

You may lose your temper when you have to repeat yourself to your children over and over again before they actually listen to you. Some parents express their anger by yelling at their children. Also, what’s even worse, is that there are some parents that will hit their child to “teach them a lesson.” Often, this isn’t because they want to hit their kid, but because they’re so stressed out that they lose control. 

How to Be a Calm Parent

Whether you’re a mom or a dad, everyone loses their temper. You might lose control because it’s easier to get angry than it is to stay calm when you’re raising children. However, you can’t forget that yelling at children will cause them to become aggressive, both physically and emotionally.

You probably don’t want that for your kids. If you yell at your little ones, you’ll scare them and make them feel insecure. Also, it may end up causing anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. 

As a calm parent, you’ll be more reassuring

A calm parent will be able to reassure their children when they need it. This will make the children feel loved and accepted, even if they misbehaved. We have to remember that kids are kids, and they need to learn to differentiate between good behavior and inappropriate behavior. Therefore, parents need to remain calm and show their children respect. 

There are many options to choose from when your child is misbehaving. Remember, you need to be patient with your child. This will help them learn to behave and also to become emotionally stable people. 

Try out the following strategies the next time you’re trying to control your anger and keep the peace in the situation:

  • Make yourself aware of the negative consequences of your anger. 
  • Give yourself a break and take a deep breath before tackling the situation. Remember, adults also need time to calm down.
  • Also, you have to let your children make mistakes every now and then, as long as the situation is safe. This will help them learn from the natural consequences of their actions.
  • Decide what’s most important: being happy or being right. 
    How to Be a Calm Parent
  • Let yourself be angry for a second, so you can understand why you’re feeling this way. Imagine that you’re someone else looking at your situation from the outside. What would you say to yourself?
  • Reflect on the situation to figure out why you’re upset. 
  • Focus on the big picture of being a calm parent. Imagine that the world ended tomorrow, would you really get so angry about your child not hanging up their backpack? Of course not.
  • Look for solutions. Don’t just focus on the problems. Instead, look for solutions and you’ll feel better. However, you have to do so without anger. Instead of yelling, find a peaceful solution with your children. That way, the outcome will be better for everyone.
  • Understand what’s happening. Why do you get angry at your kids before you even know what’s going on? Make sure the real problem isn’t just miscommunication.
  • Learn and practice relaxation techniques. The more relaxed you are, the calmer you will feel. Then, it will be more difficult for you to get angry so quickly. Breathing techniques are always a good idea.
  • Look for ways to grow and learn from the adversity. Whenever you feel upset, practice your anger management skills. That way, you’ll learn to handle frustration better and you can feel more calm all the time.

Remember that you’re a human being. You’re not perfect, but you can be a calm parent. Your perfection really lies in the imperfection. Also, don’t worry if you make mistakes because humans need to be able to learn from their mistakes. Then, little by little, they become a better person. Choose this path for your sake, for the sake of your children and for the sake of your family in general.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.