What to Do if Your Children Feel Lonely

Do you spend enough quality time with your children? Do you think they have real friends? If this isn't the case, they might be feeling lonely.
What to Do if Your Children Feel Lonely

Last update: 05 May, 2021

Sometimes, we underestimate children and their emotions. Since their lives seem so simple, we tend to think that they don’t have problems or concerns. However, many children feel lonely and empty inside. The main problem is that, in most cases, people around them don’t seem to notice the situation.

If this feeling becomes regular, you’ll notice it eventually. They’ll look sad, apathetic and hopeless. In addition, they’ll find it hard to connect with their peers and to enjoy everyday activities. What’s more, they’ll start becoming hostile towards their parents. Once this happens, adults must take responsibility and do something about it.

What to do if your children feel lonely

What to Do if Your Children Feel Lonely

Be present

On many occasions, children feel lonely because they’re truly alone. At least, they’re alone most of the day.

Due to their job responsibilities, parents can’t always be at home when their children return from school. Sometimes, they can’t help their children with their homework, nor even have dinner together. Many children also tend to have extracurricular activities, which makes it even more difficult to combine their spare time with their parents’ free time.

So, if your children feel lonely, it’s important to find time to be with them. Of course, certain obligations are extremely important. However, it’s always positive to find time to spend together. You can take them with you to the supermarket, invite them to cook together, or try to come up with a fun activity for all of you.

Be emotionally available

On the other hand, the problem might not be your physical presence. Children may feel emotionally lonely. Nowadays, technology has invaded our lives. While we connect to the internet, we disconnect from our loved ones. As a result, families spend a lot of time in front of screens, instead of bonding and getting to know each other.

To avoid this, make sure to find special places dedicated to connect emotionally with your children. You can do this during lunch or dinner, when you take them in your car or before going to bed.

Make good use of this time. Ask them about their experiences, illusions and concerns. You can also share yours with them, so you get to know each other. Furthermore, remember to tell them and show them how much you love them and how important they are to you.

Good social relationships

As we all know, their family isn’t the only reason children may feel lonely. Another reason can be their interaction with their peers. Children need to have meaningful social relationships. They need to have friends to play with, share, learn, develop personal skills and grow.

Actually, even though they spend time with a lot of other kids (at school, in their neighborhoods, during extracurricular activities, etc.), oftentimes children don’t have real friends.

Spending time with other people doesn’t guarantee emotional connections. In addition, many children think they don’t fit in, and that they aren’t emotionally involved with anybody.

If this happens, it’s important to find the reason and provide them with the necessary tools to build real relationships. Sometimes, it’s necessary to ask for professional help.

What to Do if Your Children Feel Lonely

Children who feel lonely become wounded adults

Childhood is a critical stage, in which children develop concepts, beliefs and attitudes. Depending on their experiences, they’ll identify their own value and what to expect from others. They may feel loved, included and happy, or defective, rejected and lonely. 

As a result, they’ll develop a personality which will be hard to change in the future. Therefore, try to make your children feel physically and emotionally fulfilled and valued. This is the only way to form relationships with trust and not fear. Finally, this is the only way to grow up to be healthy and not wounded adults.


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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.