A Sensitive Mother Raising Sensitive Children
You may notice tension as you go about your day; you may feel that life is troubled waters and parenting is no less so. Being a sensitive mother makes you feel everything to a greater degree inside. Most of the time, a peaceful current carries us along…but, right now, there’s a storm brewing overhead. And the eye of the storm? The family room where your young children are arguing.
Possibly, your children, most of the time, are the best of friends. But, like all humans, they’re imperfect beings who won’t always agree on everything. This can be beneficial, as it allows your kids to develop the skills they need to cooperate and compromise. However, having to fulfill the role of referee and mediator is no fun, especially when you’re extremely sensitive to chaos.
As a person who thrives on silence, commotion can be nerve-wracking. For many sensitive people, and specifically for sensitive mothers, silence is what recharges is. However, throughout the beautiful journey of parenthood, there are limited moments of stillness. Quiet time may have to be consciously created.
Guiding children as sensitive individuals can be challenging, especially when it comes to discipline. As a sensitive mother, you may feel that parenting’s complicated, and even more so when dealing with sensitive children. But it’s not impossible. What’s more, it’s necessary.
As a sensitive mother, you teach your children to be sensitive
Embrace the belief that discipline is teaching, not punishing. Discipline comes from discipulus, the Latin word for “student”, someone who’s been taught or influenced. Teaching is much kinder than punishing, both for the educator and the learner.
Children have an abundance to give and infinite room to receive, so it’s critical that we teach our children how to treat others kindly through the way we treat them. They’ll learn what they experience.
We can choose to discover the cause of their behaviors as an explanation, but not an excuse. When we understand that many influential factors collide to create an action, then we can see our wonderfully imperfect children and offer a little grace and a lot of guidance.
Pause
Choose to pause and relax and then respond rather than reacting. Take a deep breath or step away safely for a moment. We need to be calm in order to create calm.
A deep breath has the ability to relax the body, calm the mind, and allow access to our most peaceful way of being. This is where our greatest guidance originates, and it’s what your children need from you in order to evolve properly.
A sensitive mother raising sensitive children: feel rather than fix
Most parents want to protect their children from anything unpleasant, but sometimes it’s beneficial to allow discomfort in the hopes of equipping children with the tools necessary to overcome the inevitable anxieties of life.
Leave room for struggle with the intention of strengthening your relationship. If all you do is give, all children will learn to do is take. Empowerment occurs when a child feels supported with the freedom to explore.
A sensitive mother should express emotions
Give yourself permission to feel and do the same for your children. Allow them to express their emotions without guilt or shame. When we allow emotions to be expressed, we show our children that it’s okay to feel angry and sad and that we have the power within us to feel and find calm.
For example, saying things such as, “I can see you’re frustrated, I’ve felt that too,” creates connection. With acknowledgment and tolerance, we can move through an experience with our presence and advance toward peace.
Make it matter
A child can’t process big emotions independently and sit alone waiting to get over it while they’re angrily waiting for the timer to go off. This won’t help anyone.
It’s better to sit down together as soon as emotions are calmer and if your child doesn’t know how to calm down, help them to do so. Always be kind, respectful, and loving. Your attention isn’t a reward or a negative reinforcement. Rather, it’s essential for your child’s development.
Encourage connection: sensitive mothers and sensitive children.
Hug your children; you need it as much as they do. Children will cooperate to the degree that they feel connected. So, engage in connection in order to strengthen your bond. A genuine apology admits to the mistake, while forgiveness frees you both from it.
A sensitive mother should prioritize self-care
Remember that self-care starts with a growth mindset that can only offer the best when you give yourself a break. If you want your children to live their best lives, it’s important to show them things through your own choices, such as finding ways to create inner balance so you can raise them with all your love.
There’s a time for service and a time for stillness. Both are essential to being our best selves. Finally, remember that you’ll always be doing things the best way you can, because, if you really want to improve, you will.