Rejection Toward Your Partner During Pregnancy

Rejection toward your partner during pregnancy is common and is largely a consequence of hormonal changes. Keep reading to learn more.
Rejection Toward Your Partner During Pregnancy

Last update: 09 January, 2022

Pregnancy is a stage that’s full of changes that affect all aspects of a woman’s life: From the hormonal realm to the physical, psychological, emotional, and social. The truth is that the new role of carrying a baby and being a mother slowly begins to take center stage. And, therefore, you may even experience rejection toward your partner during pregnancy.

In this sense, it’s very common for pregnant women to report that they don’t really understand what’s happening to them sometimes. In fact, some describe this stage as a roller coaster, going from feeling euphoric and excited to angry, insecure, or upset in a second. And also, many future moms experience some rejection toward their partners.

Before delving into this topic, we must emphasize that all this is completely normal, habitual, and even expected during pregnancy. While you shouldn’t blame yourself for feeling this way, it’s good to know a little more about what it’s all about so that you and your partner have a good time during the transition to parenthood.

What to keep in mind about partner rejection during pregnancy

Rejection toward your partner during pregnancy can be expected, although it doesn’t always happen.

Many times, when women begin to notice the enormous change in their bodies, they realize that they have to take care of themselves more than before, and they can become irritable.

Added to this is the discomfort of not fitting into your clothes, difficulties in getting a good rest, and the inability to perform simple tasks of daily life. All this discomfort can be projected onto others and, in this case, cause you to feel rejection toward your partner.

In general, it’s a temporary rejection, closely linked to the hormonal changes of pregnancy. However, it can be counteracted if the mother’s given the necessary support. Sometimes her partner needs to give her space, while other times they need to offer her company. You have to do a good reading of the situation and this involves both partners.

But beyond the physiological issues, it’s also true that pregnancy brings to light other previous conflicts that may exist in the relationship and these can be revealed through rejection. For example, when the pregnancy wasn’t planned or desired by both parties.

On the other hand, some issues may be overexaggerated at this stage. If financial problems were already experienced before pregnancy, it’s possible that, in this context, the situation becomes more distressing.

In summary, hormonal factors are important, but they’re not the only reasons that can lead to rejection toward your partner.

A man and woman lying in bed with their backs to one another.

How to deal with rejection toward your partner during pregnancy

If you’re the one going through the pregnancy, there are some matters you should know about so that you can try to modify them. Take note of the following points:

  • Normalize your feelings. It’s not true that you’ve gone crazy, nor is it true that this emotional or sensitive state will last a lifetime. It’s essential that you work on any feeling of guilt that you may have because even if you learn to manage your emotions, you’re not responsible for what you feel.
  • Try to soften certain emotions. Keep in mind that this life change also involves your partner. So, despite your anger or discomfort, remember that you may be hurting your partner and try to change your ways.
  • Encourage dialogue and communication. This is a good exercise to ask yourself how bad some things are or how long they’ve been bothering you. That is, try to relativize some facts to avoid arguing all the time. For example, it’s one thing to get upset because your partner doesn’t get involved in the preparations for the baby’s arrival, and it’s another thing to lash out because he speaks in a very high tone (which he always did).
  • Consider starting psychotherapy if you feel overwhelmed, need more restraint, or if this affects you more than you would like.

You may be interested in: How to Mentally Prepare for Pregnancy

If you’re the partner of the person who’s pregnant, take into account the following tips:

  • It’s essential that you get involved in what’s happening to your pregnant partner, that you ask her questions, and that you share different couple activities with her. For example, it’s good to seek information and keep abreast of the changes that occur at this stage to better accompany her.
  • Patience and empathy are also key. When there are difficult days, accompany your partner from understanding instead of exploding along with her. Sometimes, the first impulse is to want to get out of the house and leave her alone, but what she needs the most in those moments is your support. In general, remembering that it’s not something personal helps you to understand and put up with what’s happening.
  • Help her find solutions to problems instead of getting angry about her bad moods. You’re the most stable axis of the relationships in this context.

For both people, strengthening communication is essential, as it allows your both to honestly express your feelings and needs. In addition, it helps to avoid misinterpretations and to adjust expectations to reality.

Finally, pregnancy is the best time to talk about projects, parenting goals, and the couple’s plans for the future. This also allows you to detect commonalities and reconcile differences before the child’s arrival.

A couple with their hands on the woman's pregnant belly.

You may also want to read: The Benefits of Sex During Pregnancy

Like all things, this too shall pass

During pregnancy, there are moments that are experienced with special excitement and others that fill us with stress. For example, the night before the tests that indicate how the baby is going, it’s common for anxiety and fears to surface.

It’s important to know that things settle down with time and that, in the blink of an eye, the nine months will have passed. Therefore, it’s best to try to be calm and keep worries at bay so that pregnancy can be enjoyed, both individually and as a couple.

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  • Vargas, Sonia. (2011). Educación de la inteligencia emocional, social y espiritual de la mujer embarazada. Actualidades Investigativas en Educación, ISSN 1409-4703, Vol. 8, Nº. 1, 2008. 8. 10.15517/aie.v8i1.9310.
  • Oesterheld, F. H., & Pavicevic, Y. (2016). Anticipando la Paternidad: Ella es la que está embarazada. Masculinidades y cambio social, 5(2), 107-133. Disponible en: https://dialnet.unirioja.es/servlet/articulo?codigo=5560151