5 Tips to Put the Spark Back in Your Relationship

To put the spark back in your relationship, you first need to feel good about yourself. When you achieve that, it'll be easier to rediscover the emotion that you used to feel every time you saw your partner.
5 Tips to Put the Spark Back in Your Relationship

Last update: 03 November, 2019

The passing of time, the daily grind, and having children… It all seems to threaten the bond that used to unite us. But it’s never too late to put the spark back in your relationship. Do you want to know how? We’ll tell you what you need to know in the following article.

How to put the spark back in your relationship

Sure, you still love and are completely committed to your partner. But perhaps you no longer feel as head over heels in love as you did at the beginning of your relationship. Daily routines, worries, and problems… They all seem to threaten our relationship, or, better yet, our feelings.

On occasion, the problem lies in not feeling personally satisfied or completely happy. Unfortunately, the first person to feel the negative effects is the person that’s closest to us. In other words, the person we share our bed with.

Therefore, in order to put the spark back in your relationship, you have to figure out what’s going on. And, if necessary, start therapy, begin a spiritual routine, meditate, or take some time for yourself. That way, you’ll have a better idea of how to go forward. Then, we suggest the following recommendations:

1. Make some changes

Improvisation is the act of getting rid of boredom. How long has it been since you’ve gone out for dinner together, just you and your partner? You don’t have to spend a fortune – just be creative! You can organize a picnic in the park, go for a bike ride around town, or cook a homemade meal together while the kids are away. The idea is to break away from your normal routine!

5 Tips to Put the Spark Back in Your Relationship

Romantic dates in the dining room of your home with candles, a special meal, and music to set the mood. There’s no need to buy a giant bouquet of flowers. Just a simple paper rose and a hand-written note will be enough.

2. Pay attention to the little things

Another key to putting the spark back in your relationship is to pay attention to the little things. For example, bring your partner breakfast in bed this weekend, leave a note on the bedside table… Even just a simple text message saying “I love you” can make a world of a difference.

Paying attention to the little things also has to do with daily household tasks and other obligations. For example, offer to take care of some things your partner usually does. Take the kids to school, wash the dishes, go to the grocery store, fold and put away the laundry, pay the bills, etc.

3. Make realistic plans

Thinking about the future is an excellent way to put the spark back in your relationship. This is because it helps you talk with your partner and look towards the future. But be careful, because the goals and objectives you establish should be clear and easy to fulfill.

It’s pointless to make plans to travel around the world next year if you can’t make that happen. You’ll only end up frustrated, which will be counterproductive. Look for ways to fill in the void or disillusion by making concrete short-term plans. For example, to visit a nearby town every month.

4. Give yourselves the gift of time

Time is the same for everybody, but depending on how you use it, you can enjoy it or waste it. Value the time you can spend together, whether it be watching TV or cleaning your house. Those are the times that allow you to remain united.

And if you’ve been doing a lot of things separately lately, make some adjustments to your weekly schedule. Set aside at least one hour a day where the only thing that matters is spending time as a couple. Time is the best gift that you can give the one you love .

5. Talk

More than likely, you’ve already heard or read somewhere that the key to a good relationship is communication. This may seem very abstract and difficult to fulfill. But the truth is, you can achieve it in a very simple way: Talking.

5 Tips to Put the Spark Back in Your Relationship

If you feel like your relationship has gotten dull, then maybe you’re both focusing too much on your own problems. It’s time to start talking to one another… About your fears, hopes, goals, and feelings. This will bring you much closer than you think.

These are just some of the keys to putting the spark back in your relationship with your partner. And of course, this is just the beginning. We recommend first deciding what you want, and then working together to improve the situation. Many times, it’s just a matter of making certain “adjustments” to make things better. So don’t give up!

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

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  • Ortega Beviá, F., & Pérez de Ayala Morenos Santa María, E. (1992). La ilusión de las alternativas: vivir en pareja. Alternativas. Cuadernos de Trabajo Social, N. 1 (octubre 1992); pp. 115-121. https://rua.ua.es/dspace/bitstream/10045/5904/1/ALT_01_09.pdf
  • Seijo Martínez, M. D., Vázquez Figueiredo, M. J., & Fariña Rivera, F. (2003). Entrenamiento en estrategias de afrontamiento de la ilusión de reconciliación con menores inmersos en procesos de separación conyugal. Revista Galego-Portuguesa de Psicoloxía e Educación: Revista de Estudios e Investigación En Psicología y Educación.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.