Positive Discipline Techniques and Benefits

Find out about positive discipline techniques and their importance in children's everyday lives.
Positive Discipline Techniques and Benefits

Last update: 25 September, 2018

Positive discipline techniques are aimed at educating children through healthy communication rather than punishment and imposition.

Essentially, positive discipline encourages children and young people to collaborate and participate in the learning process. Through these techniques, children learn to comply with requirements in a healthy way.

In other words, positive discipline is about collaboration rather than confrontation. This methodology doesn’t seek for a “power game” or a hierarchy.

We usually have to repeat the orders we give children until they follow them. To avoid the stress that this kind of behavior generates, you can opt for a few positive discipline techniques.

For example, one of the most effective techniques is dialogue. It’s something that is absolutely necessary if you want the other person (in this case, your child) to cooperate without conflict. This allows you to achieve objectives while promoting well-being at the same time.

Positive Discipline Techniques and Benefits

Difficulties you should keep in mind

When wanting to apply positive discipline techniques, you should keep in mind that it’s more than likely for us not to get the results we want right away. Being patient is key. 

Some difficulties could also get in your way, which is something completely normal. Every process has its ups and downs, especially when it comes to learning.

If you want your children to be receptive, you must take into account the context in which you decide to apply positive discipline techniques.

It’s very important that you also adapt these techniques according to your children’s age, prior knowledge and personalityFor example, you shouldn’t apply a technique for 3-year-olds in a 10-year-old.

Remember that you must know how to establish a healthy dialogue with your children if you want to help them overcome prejudices, adapt to different situations and make the necessary readjustments for them to achieve their goals.

The most common difficulties you must look out for are the following:

  • Children’s age.
  • The quality of the established dialogue (between parent and child).
  • Beliefs and pre-established knowledge (prejudices).
  • Possible reluctance (resulting from the impact of the technique and the dialogue: rebelliousness, disagreement, displeasure).

Positive discipline techniques

1. Maintaining a sense of responsibility is key. You must clarify to your child that, from now on, things will start to work differently. You’re not always going to be behind them telling them what to do because that’s their responsibility, not yours.

Let your children know the schedules of their different activities (eating, showering, curfew). Write it down for them if you have to. If you manage to organize all of this along with your child, the effectiveness will be greater and the impact will be more positive.

2. Teach your children to use an alarm clock and let them manage their time on their own. For example, if they have to shower at 8 o’clock, let them do it by themselves. In other words, help them realize how beneficial and helpful it is for them to do things by themselves.

3) Once you and your children have agreed on their day-to-day responsibilities, give them space, don’t monitor them excessively. You can give them certain reminders from time to time, but don’t make it a routine.

4) Be thankful and acknowledge the efforts they make. You don’t need to throw them a party just because they’re collaborating with you, but make sure you’re sincere and show them how grateful you are for them.

5) If you feel that certain situations are frequently repeated, sit down with your children and tell them that you want to find a solution to the problem. Let them know how much better and easier it will be if you work together. Do some brainstorming and reach an agreement together (it’s important for both of you to participate in this).

Choose the ideas you think might be useful and rule out the rest. Propose an action plan and figure out what to do to make sure everyone feels okay. It’s important for the action plan to develop into a fun activity, something that brings you two together.

6) Talk to them instead of threatening them. That way, you’ll avoid frustrations and bad situations overall.

7) Stop for a minute. It’s important that you teach them to take a break to decide what to do next. This will help them develop tolerance to pressure and speed up their decision-making process.

8) Try asking questions instead of giving orders. Educating your children through values and love is way more important and has a bigger impact than yelling and punishments.

9) Children learn by imitation, which means that their parents are their role models. Parents are never perfect, just try to be as coherent and responsible as possible. Remember you’re educating your child with everything you do.

Positive Discipline Techniques and Benefits

The importance of follow-ups and routines

Positive discipline techniques will have a great impact on your children if they’re maintained in a timely and coherent way. Remember that perseverance is key and it helps us create habits, so it’s very important that you reinforce everything that gives your children a feeling of well-being and satisfaction.

There’s no reason why you should pressure or challenge children (or teens) to do anything. Teach them to work as a team and to always look for the positive side in every situation.

Keep in mind that children love harmony, good humor, and fun. That’s why it’s vital that you grant them certain flexibility and, more importantly, give them all your support.

Let your children know when they’ve done a good job, but also let them know when they need to improve. Find a balance.

This way, you can avoid conflicts and prevent the day from ending on a bad note. Finally, remember to be patient. After all, we never stop learning.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Carmen, D., & Carrasquillo, Y. (2018). DISCIPLINA POSITIVA: HERRAMIENTA PARA LOS PADRES. Educrea.
  • McKee, L., Roland, E., Coffelt, N., Olson, A.L., Forehand, R., Massari, C., Jones, D., Gaffney, C.A. y Zens, M.Z. (2007). Harsh Discipline and Child Problem behaviors: The Roles of Positive Parenting and Gender. Journal of Family Violence, 22, 187–196.
  • Nelsen, J. (2001). Disciplina positiva. Editora Cultrix.
  • Russell, A. y Russell, G. (1996). Positive parenting and boys’ and girls’ mis-behaviour during a home observation. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 19, 291-307. 

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.