The Grieving Process After a Miscarriage

December 17, 2018
It's important for women to face the period following a miscarriage serenely and with the support of their loved ones. Grieving doesn't mean forgetting what's happened, but rather waiting and processing in order to move on.

The grieving process after a miscarriage is truly difficult to live through. Such a serious complication can be devastating both emotionally and mentally.

Pregnancy is an experience that creates strong expectations and causes women to develop strong emotions. But when miscarriage occurs, the loss of an unborn baby can be very difficult to understand and accept.

One minute, it seems like everything is joy and happiness surrounding the coming of a new baby. The next minute, everything is sadness and desolation.

The emptiness that follows this loss is devastating, and women need the right support to overcome it. Without a doubt, this is one of the most difficult moments that a woman may face in her life.

Miscarriages are hard to handle because they aren’t always preventable, despite certain circumstances that can contribute to them. For example, women who suffer from diabetes should undergo periodic studies and take special care to avoid complications.

At the same time, anatomical anomalies in the uterus can also produce miscarriages. Irregularities in shape or size, cervical duplication, or inadequate blood supply all fall into this category.

At the same time, genetic or chromosomal problems are also common triggers for miscarriage, as are thyroid problems.

Feelings after a miscarriage

As a result of any of the above mentioned, a miscarriage can put an end to the weeks of preparation, joy and hope. It’s no wonder that women feel empty, depressed and extremely saddened by such an occurrence.

All of the hopes and dreams that come with the coming of new life are suddenly taken away. In their place comes profound and constant pain. As women mourn the loss of an unborn baby, the most common feelings are the following:

Guilt

Guilt is a common sensation after the loss of a child to miscarriageBoth women and their partners often feel responsible for what has happened. In fact, they even experience feelings of guilt regarding factors beyond their control, such as genetic problems.

Many women feel as if they weren’t careful enough or that they couldn’t give their baby what he or she needed to develop.

It’s important not to allow yourself to go through the grieving process alone. Over time, the negative feelings will lessen and you and your partner will be able to move on with your lives.

The Grieving Process After a Miscarriage

Sadness

It’s logical for women to experience sadness after a miscarriage, given that it’s a profoundly painful experience. Women often feel defeated, anguished and sad – and understandably so.

Therefore, the support of close friends and family is extremely important. These same individuals must make sure that the woman doesn’t fall into deep or chronic depression. In any case, seeking the help of a psychologist is always a good idea.

Conflict

The needs of each partner may be very different during this time period. This can affect every area: Sex, work, future family planning and even everyday issues.

In the midst of these circumstances, it’s important for both parties to respect one another. There’s no need to hurry the grieving process or take any immediate action.

For example, you don’t have to rush to get rid of or put away things you’ve purchased for your child. Take the time you need and, most of all, come together as a united front.

Denial

The grieving process after a miscarriage is stressful and tiring emotionally, physically and psychologically. This can bring parents, especially women, to feel that they can’t go back to their everyday lives.

Going back to work, taking part in recreational activities, making social contact, and being intimate… All of this can be very difficult. Again, it’s best to be cautious and patient, and allow time to heal the wound.

The Grieving Process After a Miscarriage

How to handle grief after having a miscarriage

First of all, it’s important to clarify that every individual is unique. Everyone experiences grief after a miscarriage differently. Just the same, there are still certain recommendations to keep in mind while facing this difficult process:

  • Communication: Both with their partners and their inner circle, women need to let out their emotions. Those around them should listen, support and provide comfort.
  • Tact: Comments like “you’re young, you’ll be able to have another” are just the opposite of what women need to hear. Women are in mourning, and others should be respectful of their feelings of loss.
  • Truth: While it’s true that certain “taboos” exist when it comes to miscarriage, it’s best not to hide what’s happened. If there are other children in the family, you should tell them what’s happened to their younger sibling. Choose your words according to the age of your children.

It may sound like a cliché, but it’s important to be patient and allow time to heal your wounds. Don’t make any big decisions while you’re mourning.

Stability should be priority in order to accept and overcome this experience, get your strength back and move on with your life.