Mother to Mother: Ask Yourself These Questions Before Having Children

Are you thinking about having children? Do you really want to be a mother? Or should you wait a while until you feel more prepared?
Mother to Mother: Ask Yourself These Questions Before Having Children
María José Roldán

Written and verified by the psychopedagogue María José Roldán.

Last update: 28 August, 2023

If you’re a mother, you know that having children is the most wonderful thing in the world, but it’s not easy. And, of course, it’s a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. In this regard, it’s important to think very well if you’re really prepared for having a baby. In this article, we’ll propose a series of questions for you to answer to find out if you’re really ready.

Having a baby is no minor task, as that child will be your biggest responsibility in life. That’s why, before becoming a mother, you should ask yourself some questions: Only by reflecting on this will you be able to feel if it’s really what you want and if it’s the right time for it. Remember that for a child to grow up healthy and strong, it’s essential that they do so in an environment where there’s emotional stability in all aspects.

Do I have a stable partner?

Having a stable partner is essential if what you want is to start a family, but this isn’t always the case. Nowadays, there are many women who seek to be single mothers. In this case, it’s essential to have a good family support network or trusted people to turn to if necessary.

A mother and woman sitting under a drawing of a stork carrying a pink bag.
If you have a partner or a good support network, think about whether these people are stable in your life. Also, assess whether they’d be willing to do things for you and your child if needed.

Am I emotionally okay?

You can’t have a child with emotional instability. While it’s physically possible, it wouldn’t be good for you or fair to your baby. Emotional stability is essential, both in you and in your partner, if you have one. In fact, before having a child, it might be necessary that you seek the help of a psychologist to find that balance before bringing a new life into the world.

Do I have a good economic capacity?

Having children costs money, and we’re not referring only to the fact that you may have to undergo certain interventions if you want to be a single mother. It’s about the act of raising them and making sure they lack nothing. For example, diapers, clothes, accessories, or food, among other things, will add to your daily expenses. From the moment they come into the world, it’s all about spending for them. Therefore, it’s essential to have a good economic capacity and the certainty that this will be the case as time goes by.

Why do I want to have a child?

It’s not about wanting to have children because your best friend has become a mother. Nor because you want to patch things up with your partner and think that a baby will bring you closer together. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, the stress of parenting can break up the most stable couples for years. Therefore, it’s essential that you’re very clear on why you want to have a child.

A mother sitting in bed snuggling her baby.
The reasons can be numerous and very diverse, but what matters is that you feel that there’s something deep inside you that wakes up and tells you that it’s time to be a mother.

Am I in the right place and at the right time to have children?

Think about whether you’ve done everything you wanted with your partner and for yourself. Do you feel fulfilled as a woman and think that now is the time to have children= Maybe you’ve been feeling for some time that you want to be a mother and you have it in your head, but you haven’t yet taken the step because you wanted to do some things beforehand.

Now’s the time if you feel ready. And if you’re with a partner, it may be the same for them. Remember that time is of the essence and both of you should be equally prepared before embarking on this new stage.

As for the place, you should have a home where there’s more than enough space for your child to grow up. In addition to a town or city where the child can grow properly. Think well about the place and your home to know if it’s exactly where you want to become a mother.

The time has come to be a mom!

Now, after reflecting on these questions that we’ve just mentioned, you can have a little more idea about whether you really want to be a mother. Maybe it’s best to wait a while until you feel more ready for it. Or maybe the right time has come for you to start a beautiful family!

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.