How to Get Through Low Sex Drive After Childbirth

It's important for your partner to see you as a friend and lover, not just a mother. Through mutual support, you can overcome low sex drive after childbirth. 
How to Get Through Low Sex Drive After Childbirth

Last update: 17 March, 2019

After childbirth, women’s health, emotions and hormones go through many changes. Low sex drive after childbirth is one of them. Next, we’ll show you why this occurs and how to overcome it.

Giving birth is a difficult task that comes with different psychological, physical and routine changesWhen a new baby arrives, a complex stage begins for new mothers, who will have start motherhood while recovering at the same time.

During the first 3 months after giving birth, women have sexual health issues that can last up to 12 months. How can you overcome them?

Physical and psychological causes of low sex drive after childbirth

It’s completely normal to feel little or no sexual urges after having carried a baby for nine months in the womb. New mothers suffer from an overwhelming fatigue when starting their new role. Therefore, it causes them physical and emotional exhaustion

Intimacy between  new parents is very little or nonexistent since all of their time is focused on the newborn. When you have a moment for yourself, the first thing you’ll want to do is rest; sex is ruled out.

When recovering from labor, your body undergoes important hormonal changes that can make new moms feel a little unbalanced. For example, postpartum increases prolactin production, the hormone that promotes breastfeeding.

In addition, estrogen and testosterone also decrease. This is directly related to low sex drive. A decrease in testosterone directly affects women’s libido.

Additionally, worrying about their appearance and getting their figure back after delivery is another cause of low sex drive. This dissatisfaction, if it goes on for too long, can drag sexual problems on for longer.

How to Get Through Low Sex Drive After Childbirth

Sex life after childbirth

Doctors recommend that mothers refrain from having sex for 40 days after giving birth.

This suggestion also extends during puerperium, since there’s a risk of infection because of trauma on the vaginal walls. These can cause tears or small hemorrhages. Therefore, it’s best to wait until everything is healed before having intercourse again.

Sex after delivery is usually a little uncomfortable and even a little painful because of the decreased estrogen. For mothers who decide to breastfeed, they have more prolactin, making their vaginal walls thin and brittle. In addition, this causes vaginal dryness.

Since there’s very little lubrication, it can cause discomfort and difficulties during sex. The distention of the vagina also causes discomfort. As if that weren’t enough, postpartum depression directly influences low sex drive after childbirth.

This state of sadness, anguish, and crying can be very dangerous, both for the mother and baby. In this case, time will help you heal, as well as a strong support system of family and your doctor.

Luckily, all of this normally improves considerably after 6 months. This is when the uterus returns to its normal size and you start weaning your baby.

“When recovering from labor, your body undergoes important hormonal changes that can make new moms feel a little unbalanced.”

How to get through low sex drive after giving birth

Little by little, and with your partner’s support, you’ll get your sex life back. You can follow these recommendations to make the process easier:

  • Don’t rule out other sexual practices. There are other ways to feel pleasure other than intercourse.
  • If you’re well, both physically and emotionally, you can start enjoying satisfying sex. A lot of it has to do with your partner’s support by making you feel beautiful and desired.
  • Couples need to make time to have moments together. It’s important to hug, kiss, and relax together.
How to Get Through Low Sex Drive After Childbirth
  • Having your partner massage you and affectionately hold you will help spark passion between you two.
  • If you’re breastfeeding and have vaginal dryness, we recommend using lubricants to facilitate sexual intercourse.
  • Getting your figure back will make you feel much better about yourself and boost your confidence. As a result, you’ll notice an increase in your libido.
  • Doing Kegel exercises for distended vaginas can make a huge difference. In addition to helping your low sex drive, it’ll also help prevent other ailments.
  • When starting postpartum intercourse, it’s best to use positions that help make you feel comfortable.

It’s a mistake to pretend that everything will be the same after childbirth. Without a doubt, you’ll experience important changes, and you’ll have to work through them little by little.

Fortunately, low sex drive after childbirth is temporary. After a while, you’ll go back to your sex life with the same passion you had before becoming parents.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Byrd JE, Hyde JS, DeLamater JD, Plant EA. (1998). Sexuality during pregnancy and the year postpartum. J Fam Pract. 1998 Oct; 47(4):305-8.
  • Enderle, C. D. F., Kerber, N. P. D. C., Lunardi, V. L., Nobre, C. M. G., Mattos, L., & Rodrigues, E. F. (2013). Condicionantes y/o determinantes del retorno a la actividad sexual en el puerperio. Revista Latino-Americana de Enfermagem, 21(3), 719-725.
  • Gómez Cantarino, S., & Moreno Preciado, M. (2012). La expresión de la sexualidad durante la gestación y el puerperio.
  • González Labrador, I., & Miyar Pieiga, E. (2001). Sexualidad femenina durante la gestación. Revista cubana de medicina general integral, 17(5), 497-501.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.