Why Is My Teenager So Rebellious?

Do you feel that your child is always pushing back? Maybe they're just trying to build their identity. Today, we'll look at the question "Why is my teenager so rebellious?".
Why Is My Teenager So Rebellious?

Last update: 28 September, 2021

Do you ever ask yourself Why is my teenager so rebellious? Adolescence is a very stigmatized stage. Parents fear it and we all assume that, at this age, young people become unmanageable. Therefore, the stereotype of the rebellious adolescent is part of the collective imagination and we constantly seek to avoid or appease these behaviors. If your child is past puberty, you may have noticed changes in their attitude. In some young people, the behavioral alterations are more notable than in others, but in both cases, the patterns are similar: Defiance of authority, questioning of norms, and opposition to parents.

All of these are natural behaviors typical of this stage. However, when we’re not aware of them in advance, they can cause is confusion and suffering as parents. In order to find yourself more prepared for your child’s adolescence, we’re going to explain to you what these changes in behavior are due to and how to accompany them.

Why is my teenager so rebellious?

Although you may have thought otherwise, your teenager isn’t rebellious because they want to annoy you or make you uncomfortable. Nor do they act this way due to lack of education or changes in their personality.

Below, we’ll show you the main reasons that can lead your child to be rebellious.

They’re suffering stress from all the changes

First of all, you need to understand that it’s not easy for adolescents to go through this stage. Suddenly, they face a multitude of changes physical and emotional and social pressures that didn’t exist before. Learning to manage this new reality can be confusing and complicated.

In fact, they can often feel overwhelmed and respond to stress inappropriately: They become irascible, reactive, or more moody than usual. But this is nothing more than the result of an internal conflict that they can’t manage.

We can’t lose sight of the fact that hormonal action causes sudden changes in mood. In addition, the cognitive development of adolescents hasn’t yet finished, so they’re not yet able to control their impulses or measure the consequences of their actions the way an adult does.

A father and his teenage son arguing.

In short, your adolescent child doesn’t yet have the strategies and personal resources necessary to assume the changes they face at this stage.

They’re claiming themselves as a person

When teens defy their parents, break rules, or oppose authority, we brand them as rebellious or disobedient. However, their attitude is understandable in some way.

How would you react if someone told you how to dress, what music to listen to, or when to use your phone?

If someone else tried to impose themselves on such essential issues in your life, you would also rebel. And although it’s evident that adolescents aren’t yet adults and that they need limits, their position is understandable: They no longer feel like children.

For this reason, an adolescent is rebellious to the extent that their parents exercise an inappropriate educational style.

The less you listen to them, the more you resort to punishment, and the more your orders overshadow dialogue, the more likely your youngster will be to rebel. And this will happen as a way to vindicate themselves as a person and to protect their right to be who they are.

Teenagers seek independence

Some parents are alarmed when their teens withdraw from them physically and emotionally, either not wanting to spend time with family or not being as loving as they used to be.

However, this is a natural and healthy thing to do. During adolescence, family ceases to be the main reference for youth and their peer group takes a leading role.

Therefore, it’s normal for your child to want to spend more time with their friends, spend several hours talking with them. and seek their approval instead of yours. Try not to take these events personally or as an act of rebellion, as they’re changes that are necessary for their maturation.

They may be suffering from a psychological disorder

Despite all of the above, it’s important to keep in mind that rebellious behavior can stem from suffering.

If these challenging, irascible, or aggressive attitudes appear excessively, it’s possible that the young person’s facing a psychological issue. Anxiety, depression, or bullying can be hidden behind these changes in behavior and shouldn’t be ignored.

A teenager looking at her phone with her hand over her mouth.

Why is your teenager so rebellious? It’s part of their growth

As you can see, rebellion’s a normal part of adolescence. We don’t necessarily have to consider it to be something negative. If it remains within the expected limits, it’s merely a sign of the healthy development of the young person’s personality.

So, arm yourself with patience and understanding. Promote dialogue in order to accompany your child as they go through this stage of their life. Instead of labeling them as rebellious and blaming them for their behavior, try to guide them and help them manage their emotions. And if you think that there may be an underlying problem, don’t hesitate to consult with a professional.

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