Giving Your Child What They Need Will Not Spoil Them
If you are a mother it is very likely that you have heard that you are spoiling your children, either because you buy something they like, because you like to carry them in your arms, or simply because you listen to their opinions and work with their emotions instead of being authoritarian all the time. Giving your child what they need is your job as a mother.
However, you may have also sometimes heard that in the future you’ll regret it, because you won’t be able to control them since they are spoiled.
Most likely you hate listening to any of those ‘tips’ where they accuse you of spoiling your children and doing everything wrong by being ‘soft’. But even though many people who tell you these things do it with all the best intentions, it is your instinct that must ultimately decide what to do in each moment and you just have to listen to it.
When a baby receives a lot of affection from their parents, they hug the baby, kiss them, take naps with them… All this will not affect the baby negatively, rather the opposite. It will benefit them greatly. Your child will not become an expert manipulator or dominate you because you give them all the love you feel towards them at any time of the day.
They need to feel you and love you
Babies, in order to create a stable emotional bond with their parents, need to feel them every day, to know that you are there to protect them and give them security and emotional comfort. This will help them to develop in a healthy way and not as a tyrant as many people think. A baby needs you. The rules and limits will come later, but giving love will never spoil them.
The outside world is not what a baby is accustomed to when it feels so protected inside its mother’s womb. The outside world is the opposite of comfort: there are noises, many voices, lots of light, an uncertain atmosphere, people around…
Everything is overwhelming and babies are afraid. They need the security of the known, the safety of a mother who is at their side, that if needed will appear immediately.
That’s why a mother’s voice is so important to her baby, her smell, her skin, her smile and all her love. When a mother gives her baby the love they need, then she begins to establish a very special emotional bond where the baby’s fears and insecurities begin to dissipate.
They know that their mother and father are by their side, to take care of them at all times. And in that way, it seems that this strange world is not so bad.
You are not going to risk it
No. Don’t worry about giving your baby everything they need because you’re not going to risk it, you will only be making your baby safe and happy to belong to the family that loves them. The first few months of life are the most important in the development of a small human and therefore, you need to be there for your baby and give them all the love they need to receive from you.
“I believe in love at first sight because I am a mother”
Your baby at birth is totally dependent on you, in all aspects. But that dependency will not be like this for their whole life and little by little, as they grow up, they will show you their independence that you must respect, empower and guide.
Your child will not be a baby all their life and therefore, it is important that you enjoy this beautiful stage that life gives you.
You don’t have to let them cry in the crib, in fact, you should not. Grab them and hold them until they calm down and know that you are by their side so that everything goes well. When you have your baby in your arms you will all be happier.
There will be no disaster in the future, your child will not become an expert manipulator… They will only know that they have a mother and father who know how to give them all the love they deserve: your unconditional love.