My Child Always Wants to Be the Center of Attention
Most parents admit that there’s no guide to dealing with the daily difficulty of being a mother or father. In many cases, the desire to adapt to formulas and standards can be frustrating for both parents and children. If your child always wants to be the center of attention, keep reading for useful advice on how to better understand and handle the situation.
For many centuries, children were expected to be quiet. There was a lack of general knowledge and understanding regarding what children go through in childhood. In addition, kids were supposed to only speak when spoken to.
Nowadays, children have recognized international rights and adults look at kids more empathetically.
That said, many stigmas and common beliefs still exist and don’t help kids develop in a healthy way. One of them is the idea that children’s freedom ends when an adult conversation begins.
Also, the idea of categorizing kids as good or bad is still common. It might not surprise you that these ideas of childhood and what kids should be like aren’t very helpful.
Does your child want to be the center of attention? Put yourself in his shoes
Parents are often surprised and complain that their children always want to be the center of attention. They might have tantrums or go off constantly. The surprise comes when they notice that kids come back ten minutes to try again. They do this even though they know their parents will punish them.
In the education world, “negative reinforcement” is when someone tries to get what they want from negative ways. That said, it’s always better to use positive reinforcement.
Your child doesn’t want you to get mad at him, and he doesn’t want you to yell at him or punish him. It’s just the way he learned to communicate with you. He doesn’t want to be the center of attention. In fact, he just wants to be happy and surround himself with happiness.
However, sometimes intense feelings overcome kids and they don’t know how to get out of them without your help. Kids feel afraid when they feel this rush of emotions. Why does this happen?
Following the idea of respectfully raising children, it’s important that when kids cry, we don’t force them to stop crying. Rather, we should help them understand their own feelings.
Adults tend to get frustrated when their kids cry uncontrollably. They look around for help. Then, they start to panic and feel ashamed. They think that society will accuse them of being useless for “not knowing how to calm their child down.”
In such a panic, instead of hugging their child and trying to empathize with him, parents give him candy, a toy, or threaten him to be quiet.
“Your child doesn’t want you to get mad at him, and he doesn’t want you to tell at him or punish him. It’s just the way he learned to communicate with you. “
Understanding, dialogue and trust
Knowing these emotional mechanisms, it’s best to show empathy to the ones that depend on you to connect with the world. First, you need to realize that something has upset your child. He’s suffering and doesn’t know how to express it, so he acts out.
Instead of denying them, you can accept your child’s feelings. Then, you’ll start to close the communication gap. Little by little, your child will be able to express himself when he feels certain emotions.
Similarly, you can do this when your child wants something he doesn’t need or that won’t last for a long time. In that case, just breathe and explain that you understand what he feels, but you have your reasons why he can’t have it.
It’s important to stop and think, if your son trusts you, he’ll feel less and less frustrated. Then, he’ll start to learn to manage it himself. Kids need to gain independence.
“It takes a village to raise a child,” says an African proverb. Children need security, protection and acceptance to be able to grow independently. Also, they need to learn to live positively in the world around them.
In short, if your child wants to be the center of attention, it’s a sign that you need to stop, talk, caress and love him. Finally, always trust that you know how to give your child the care and attention that he needs.It might interest you...
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Menéndez Benavente, Isabel. Introducción al trastorno de déficit de atención por hiperactividad. Extraído de: https://www.isabelmenendez.com/escuela/ninos_hiperactivos.pdf
- Temas para la educación. Revista digital para profesionales de la enseñanza. (2012). Federación de Enseñanza de CC.OO. de Andalucía. Extraído de: https://www.feandalucia.ccoo.es/docu/p5sd9330.pdf